Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-28
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
While taking interviews some employers are interested to know about employees personal information like what are their hobbies or whether they are married or single .Whereas, some individuals believe that this sorts of information can be crucial for the business. But, in contrast
some people argue that it might be useless . I will provide my prospective in upcoming paragraphs and will discuss both stances .
To commence with, It can be certainly true that if the employers are demanding your personal information during your enrollment in company . sometimes they like to keep record about your personal traits to know about whether you are suitable for their work to complete the targets to enhance the productivity .
On the other hand, some humans believe that this kind of information can be useless. It can be personal choice or an optional thing to ask whether they prefer to open up about personal sectors .In result , Sometimes sharing personal information can be harmful for the workers ,if their would happen any kind of conflict between the owner and the worker.
In conclusion, i would prefer to say that it should be an optional choice to ask on resume whether they want to share personal information with headline during hiring that ,if they will provide information regarding their personal traits ,there will
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you address both sides of the argument and state your opinion, the points are under-developed. For example, the argument regarding productivity is mentioned but not explained with sufficient depth or examples. The conclusion is also incomplete, cutting off mid-sentence. To improve, you must expand on your reasoning with specific examples and ensure the essay is fully completed to meet the length requirement.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay uses basic paragraphing and some cohesive devices like 'To commence with' and 'On the other hand'. However, the flow is often disrupted by awkward phrasing and incomplete sentences. The logical progression is hindered by the lack of depth in the body paragraphs. Additionally, the referencing is sometimes unclear, and the transition between ideas feels mechanical rather than natural. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear, fully developed central idea will help improve the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally limited and repetitive. You use basic terms such as 'personal information' and 'useless' repeatedly. There are also issues with word choice, such as 'some humans' instead of 'some people' or 'some individuals'. While the meaning is generally conveyed, there is a lack of variety and precision. To achieve a higher band, you should aim to incorporate more topic-specific vocabulary related to employment and professional standards, and avoid repeating the same phrases throughout the text.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including issues with subject-verb agreement ('if their would happen'), punctuation, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or lack proper flow. For instance, 'While taking interviews some employers are interested to know...' is grammatically awkward. The range of structures is limited, relying mostly on simple sentences. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like article usage and verb tense consistency before attempting more complex structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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