Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this cutting-edge era the majority of people crack their job interviews. They believe that when employers ask questions regarding their personal information like married status or hobbies, it’s not necessary or relevant. However, I believe that it’s the best to know more about the person’s background.

To commence with, there are various reasons why people don’t want to disclose their personal information. First and foremost reason is that, hiring should be based on experience and skill as compared to personal information. Sometimes personal information leads to discrimination among other candidates. Therefore, they believe that skill, experience and qualifications matters more because knowledge matters more than personal information.

However, I believe that asking personal information helps employers to understand their employees better than their education. As with the help of hobbies they can show their skills like team work and critical thinking. As a result, personal information also helps them to stay comfortable during their interviews.

For example, if they have personal information regarding their personal life like marriage, hobbies helps interviewers to understand if they have keen interest in community works. Then they have strong communication skills and team work . Which will help company to get better employees.

To conclude, although skill based question and qualification based questions during interviews helps the employer to get better educated person. But I think if they understand employees better with their personal information then they can feel more comfortable working with the company.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The essay addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the response falls short of the 250-word minimum requirement, which limits the depth of development. While the ideas are relevant, the arguments regarding how hobbies demonstrate 'critical thinking' or 'community work' are somewhat underdeveloped and lack specific, convincing examples. The conclusion is a bit repetitive and does not fully synthesize the points made. To improve, ensure you expand on your reasoning with more concrete examples and ensure the essay meets the minimum length requirement to allow for full task coverage.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. You use some cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'First and foremost', and 'However', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions feel a bit mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the fourth paragraph where the connection between 'marriage' and 'community works' is tenuous. Improving the flow between sentences and ensuring that each paragraph has a strong, unified focus will help elevate your score in this criterion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on somewhat repetitive phrasing, such as 'personal information' and 'better'. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'crack their job interviews' and 'discrimination among other candidates', which sound unnatural. To improve, try to incorporate more topic-specific vocabulary related to recruitment and professional environments, and focus on using synonyms to avoid repetition. Expanding your range of academic collocations will also help you express your ideas more precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. For instance, 'qualification based questions... helps the employer' contains a subject-verb agreement error, and 'if they have personal information... hobbies helps' is also grammatically incorrect. Punctuation is generally functional, but there are issues with sentence fragments and comma usage. To reach a higher band, focus on ensuring subject-verb agreement, correct article usage, and refining your control over complex sentence structures to ensure they are error-free.

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