Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In the modern jobs setup, it is too often to be asked for more personal details like, hobbies and marital status by the recruiters or employers. The reason behind it, would be the chance of knowing a candidate in the better way and the privacy is the thing behind the disagreement by some of the people.

First of all, the companies or employment agencies always want to know as much as possible detail about the applicants in order to find the best fit worker for their firm. They ask about the interest of a person to provide one with suitable job duties, opportunities and also to create a stress free environment. For Instance, If a job seeker is a newly married and cannot do overtime on weekends and more comfortable in remote work, but company want him to do opposite then it make sense to know such things beforehand to come at a solution rather than stress and adjustments lately.

However, privacy concern is way more among the people in these days and no one wants to reveal more than needed. People wants to tell about their education, previous work experiences and salary expectation but not about the topics that they feel unnecessary, a number of family members and their names or relationships, for example. Apparently, every Individual mostly seek security of data and personal details to not being judge and try to keep their professional boundaries active.

In my opinion, applicant must be provided with the comfort first, before asking their personal things, if needed. Otherwise, focus should be on the professional data at first place.

Overall, to know about the people applying for job helps the companies in advanced way but the privacy concern regarding personal information by the job seeker is also genuine. so, the focus on the work related things should be priorities until one is comfortable in sharing personal details.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have addressed all parts of the prompt by discussing both sides of the issue and providing a clear personal opinion. Your ideas are relevant, such as the mention of 'stress-free environments' and 'privacy concerns'. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding marital status could be expanded further to explain why employers might view it as a proxy for reliability. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is fully extended with more detailed reasoning or specific, illustrative examples. Your position is consistent throughout the essay, which is a positive aspect of your response.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'First of all', 'However', and 'In my opinion', to guide the reader. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'The reason behind it, would be...'. Additionally, some transitions between sentences are abrupt. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that the relationship between sentences is more fluid. The paragraphing is appropriate, which helps the overall structure of the essay.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'recruiters', 'professional boundaries', and 'data security'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and awkward collocations, such as 'in the modern jobs setup', 'find the best fit worker', and 'to not being judge'. These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of your writing. To improve, try to learn common collocations (e.g., 'hiring process' instead of 'jobs setup') and focus on using more sophisticated vocabulary to express your ideas with greater clarity and nuance.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include 'it is too often to be asked', 'a newly married' (should be 'newly married'), 'company want him' (subject-verb agreement), and 'priorities' (should be 'prioritized'). While these errors are noticeable, they rarely prevent the reader from understanding your meaning. To improve, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement, article usage, and verb forms. Incorporating more complex structures with greater accuracy will help you move into a higher band.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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