Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, every employer have their own way of interviewing individuals based on the needs of specific position. Getting to know much more about person's personality helps decide whether a job given to a job-seeker to hire him or not. But sometimes, misleading information by wrong-candidate results in hiring a wrong-candidate for the job.

To commence with hobbies and interests, managers look for some expertise & skills in people which may help in getting the job done in an easy manner. If an individual is applying for a position in tech-company and by knowing their interests can help the recruiter to appoint that person or not. Moreover, the hobbies of people could tell about how the person is, what is environment that they like, what kind of things do they enjoy and do, demands of working if their behaviour, routine could fit into a role, then, they are perfect candidate for the task.

On the other hand, questions about personal life are not as important as other aspects. They can play a role in some occupations & working conditions, Everyone has their own responsibilities, which they might not want to disclose with a company. But some medical conditions should be transparent with the companies in certain working environments, such as maternity, breathing problems, and others which may affects our availability for the given task.

In my opinion, interests and medical conditions must be disclosed with the managers. It helps to employers to work with those things which results in betterment of organizations and individuals as well. Some misleading information may lead to wrong assumptions, wrong assigned roles which creates & more problems in future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. While you mention hobbies and medical conditions, the explanation of why some people disagree with disclosing personal information is underdeveloped. The argument regarding 'misleading information' in the introduction is not fully linked to the subsequent paragraphs. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is supported by a clear, logical explanation or a specific example. The conclusion is present, but it could be more effectively used to summarize the main arguments rather than introducing new thoughts about 'wrong assigned roles'.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Moreover', and 'On the other hand'. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly unnatural. For instance, the transition between the introduction and the first body paragraph is abrupt. Additionally, some sentences lack clear logical links, such as the second sentence in the second paragraph, which is grammatically fragmented and difficult to follow. Improving the variety and precision of your linking words will help the flow of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. You use some relevant topic-specific terms like 'recruiter', 'working conditions', and 'disclose'. However, there are instances of imprecise word choice, such as 'getting the job done in an easy manner' and 'work with those things'. There are also minor errors in collocation, such as 'disclosed with the managers' (should be 'disclosed to'). To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary and ensure that your word choices are contextually accurate and natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the reader's understanding. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('every employer have', 'it helps to employers'), missing articles ('about person's personality'), and awkward phrasing ('if their behaviour, routine could fit into a role, then, they are perfect candidate'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas. To achieve a higher score, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and refining your control over complex sentence structures to ensure they are error-free.

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