Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Job applications increasingly request personal details like marital status and extracurricular hobbies. Meanwhile some people view this as an invasive or irrelevant practice, others argue it provides a holistic view of a candidate. In my perspective, while hobbies can offer valuable insights into a candidate's personality, sharing relationship status is necessary to figure future goals of employee.

On the one hand, proponents argue that personal insights help predict cultural fit and workplace performance. Hobbies often mirror soft skills that professional resumes hide. For instance, an applicant who captains a local cricket team naturally demonstrates leadership qualities, better framework for team and stamina—traits highly prized in management roles. Furthermore, understanding an individual's personal life helps human resource departments organise the roster of newly appointed candidates, also foster a supportive corporate culture and gauge long-term retention.

On the other hand, critics argue that such inquiries violate personal privacy and introduce systemic discrimination. Marital status has no bearing on an individual’s technical competence or professional ethics. Historically, revealing that one is married or planning a family has led to impending parental and maternal leave as, employers might have to worry about new hiring of staff every year so. For a instances, in India female employees more likely to tender abrupt resignation shortly after the marriage. Hence, human resource left with unwanted shortage of staff. Therefore, evaluating candidates based on their private relationships with their objective merits enhances the fairness of the recruitment process.

In my view, a strict boundary must be maintained between useful personal data and private life. Companies should encourage applicants to share interests and hobbies, as these showcase transferable skills and stress-management capabilities outside of work. However, marital status must remain strictly confidential during hiring to prevent nepotism or discrimination.

In conclusion, while hobbies are legitimately useful for identifying well-rounded employees, marital status is relevant to determine professional availability and should kept confidential with recruitment officer to ensure equal opportunity.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses all parts of the task, presenting both sides of the argument and a clear personal position. The ideas are relevant and generally well-developed, such as the example of the cricket captain to illustrate soft skills. However, the position in the introduction is slightly contradictory; you state that marital status is 'necessary to figure future goals', yet later argue it should be 'strictly confidential'. This inconsistency weakens the clarity of your stance. To reach a higher band, ensure your thesis statement is perfectly aligned with the arguments presented in the body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas. Paragraphing is used effectively to separate the two viewpoints and your own opinion. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion' are used appropriately to guide the reader. However, there are minor issues with referencing and flow, such as the phrase 'as, employers might have to worry' and 'For a instances', which disrupt the natural flow of the text. Improving the precision of these linking phrases would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a good range of vocabulary, including terms like 'holistic view', 'transferable skills', and 'systemic discrimination'. There is an attempt to use less common items, which is positive. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'figure future goals of employee' (should be 'determine the future career goals of an employee') and 'tender abrupt resignation' (should be 'submit an abrupt resignation'). These errors do not impede communication but prevent the vocabulary from being considered fully natural or sophisticated.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While many sentences are clear, there are several grammatical slips that occur throughout the text. Examples include 'Meanwhile some people view' (should be 'While some people view'), 'For a instances' (should be 'For instance'), and 'should kept confidential' (should be 'should be kept confidential'). These errors are frequent enough to prevent the essay from reaching a higher band, although they do not cause significant confusion for the reader. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and passive voice construction would be beneficial.

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