Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

There is no doubt, whenever people apply for a new job they used to ask many questions by their employers such as sometimes about their personal life also and about their choice, about their married life they are single or no. Few people say that this information is useful and others say no. Let us discuss both sides of this statement in the upcoming paragraphs.

On the one hand, people who are agree with that when company ask for personal information such as about hobbies, interest, and about their single or married life. Because when employers know this all information about their worker they may be accommodate them better. To explain it, i want to give my own example here, i love to walk and when i joined my first job that was in warehouse and in the joining form there was a section for about my self about my choice and over there I write I write down I am person who like to work by walking and by change the place, consequently they hire me in the picking department over there I always walk and my productivity is always good. In addition to this, sometimes in any emergency during the working hours, when our employer know whom to contact first or who will come on a time for this employee. This will help to company as well as the person who is in emergency.

On the other hand, people are not agree for sharing their personal information, there are many reasons behind it. Firstly, sometimes company take advantages from this, for example, people are not same all the time sometimes they are not in the condition to give their best, but employer pressurize them by saying at the very first day you mention this is not a big deal for you because your wife always guide you in it, ultimately, this leads to silent stress because person try their best but he or she not fully success. Second thing is that many people do not want share their personal life on workplace and this is totally acceptable.

In conclusion, every coin has two sides, like in the same way some people are fine to share their personal interests and life because they think this will help them to give their best and help company in uncertain situation. On the opposite side, some people are not in the favor to share anything about them, because of any advantage take from their employer and they have their own choice regarding it. I will support the second statement.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both sides of the argument and providing a clear personal opinion. The ideas are relevant, such as the benefits of matching job roles to personal preferences and the potential for employer exploitation. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat uneven. The personal example provided is a bit anecdotal and could be more effectively linked to the broader argument. While the position is clear, the supporting arguments could be more sophisticated to reach a higher band. Overall, the task is fulfilled, but the depth of analysis is limited.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. There is a progression of ideas, and the writer uses basic cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand,' 'On the other hand,' and 'In conclusion.' However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or repetitive. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and some transitions between sentences feel abrupt. While the structure is coherent, the flow could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that the relationship between sentences is more explicit.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary, such as 'productivity,' 'emergency,' and 'exploitation' (implied). However, there are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'by change the place' instead of 'by changing my environment' and 'not in the favor' instead of 'not in favor.' The range is somewhat limited, and the repetition of basic words like 'information' and 'people' suggests a need for more varied synonyms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('people are agree'), tense inconsistencies ('they used to ask'), and awkward phrasing ('they are single or no'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some run-on sentences and missing commas. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable and detract from the overall quality of the writing. More attention to basic sentence construction and verb forms is required.

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