Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Nowdays employers ask the job applicant to provide personal information, such as hobbies,interests and their material status. Some people says that this information is very useful when they are hiring but other thinks it is a unnecessary things.
On first hand personal information such as hobies and their interest help the employer to understand the application clearly . For example some one hobie is playing fooball or other team sport have good communication skill and have a good teamwork. secondaly some are intreseted in reading books of computer information tecknology it means they are suit for the it jobs.
Secondly some people believe that personal information is not be used in the resum.Because some companies or employier take affect deccision by seeing their material status. Some of boss thaught that marriage person can do better work behalf of single person.Married person have more experience about the jobs and are more responsible . On other hand they believe that single person can leave the company easly .
In conculision giving personal information is good for employers because they got all information but on others side dont judge the persons by their material status.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion, but the development is significantly hindered by the word count. At 192 words, it fails to meet the 250-word minimum requirement, resulting in an under-developed response. While the ideas regarding hobbies as indicators of soft skills and the potential for discrimination based on marital status are relevant, they lack sufficient elaboration and supporting examples. The conclusion is brief and does not fully synthesize the arguments presented. To improve, you must expand on your points with more detailed explanations and specific examples to meet the length requirement and demonstrate a more thorough exploration of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes inaccurate, such as 'On first hand' and 'secondaly'. The transition between ideas is often abrupt, and the lack of depth makes the logical progression feel disjointed. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and the overall flow is limited by the brevity of the text. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and phrases (e.g., 'furthermore', 'consequently', 'in contrast') and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that connects back to the main argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, which restricts the ability to express complex ideas. There are several spelling errors, such as 'Nowdays', 'hobies', 'intreseted', 'tecknology', 'employier', and 'conculision'. Additionally, word choice is often imprecise, such as 'material status' instead of 'marital status' and 'take affect deccision' instead of 'influence decisions'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to demonstrate flexibility or precision. To improve, you should focus on learning topic-specific collocations and proofreading your work to correct basic spelling mistakes, which currently impede the professional tone of the essay.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures, and there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('Some people says', 'other thinks', 'Some of boss thaught'), incorrect verb forms ('are suit for', 'can leave the company easly'), and missing articles or prepositions. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with spaces missing after commas and periods. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors makes the writing feel unpolished and limits the range of structures used. Focusing on basic sentence construction and subject-verb agreement will significantly improve the clarity and accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.