Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Sometimes employees are being asked personal question like their hobbies, ad interest, their status by their employers . Some people assert that information can be relevant or useful, ,while others opine that it cannot be. I believe that it can be useful as to know each other or make him or her relax.

On the one hand, the most prominent reason why few individuals believe that it is not appropriate to personal question to employees in the interviews is that it can reveal their privacy. To explain it, during interview when employee is being asked about his personal life question like his hobbies or interest or how he spend his or her free time and with whom then he or she can take it as threat revealing everything that is personal.

On the other hand, Knowing each other is the main cause why personal information can be useful like hobbies and their interests. To be specific, when people shares same interests as other people do, then they enjoy sitting together or talking together. Moreover it converts to friendship.

Making someone feel relaxed is the another most prominent cause why employee ask personal question. to explain it, mostly employers know that how it is stressful to give interview to a strange personal or everybody gets nervous .

To avoid it they ask their employees more simple questions like their personal intrests and their favourite foods just to make them ease not to feel so nervous. For example, it ha been seen employees who were askeed these questions before interrview were more productive during interrview

Conclusion, these arre the main reasons why it can be useful info.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both sides of the issue and providing a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention privacy concerns and the benefits of rapport-building, the arguments lack depth and specific, well-explained examples. For instance, the example regarding productivity is mentioned but not fully explored. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is supported by a more detailed explanation or a more concrete, illustrative example. The conclusion is also quite brief and does not effectively summarise the main arguments presented in the body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand', to signal the structure. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or repetitive. Additionally, there are instances where referencing is unclear, such as the phrase 'To avoid it' in the fourth paragraph, which lacks a clear antecedent. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence flows naturally from the previous one will help improve the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. You attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary, such as 'prominent', 'appropriate', and 'productive'. However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'strange personal' instead of 'stranger' and 'make them ease' instead of 'put them at ease'. The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, and there is a reliance on basic terms. To improve, focus on learning more precise collocations and synonyms to express your ideas with greater sophistication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent. There are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation, such as missing articles ('the interviews'), incorrect verb forms ('employees are being asked'), and subject-verb agreement issues ('employee ask personal question'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy, particularly with pluralisation, articles, and verb tenses. Increasing the variety of complex structures while maintaining control over them will also help elevate your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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