Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 7.0)

In today's world, employers sometimes ask job applicants to provide personal information, such as their hobbies, interests and marital status. While some people believe that this information can be useful when selecting employees, others argue that it is unnecessary. I believe that some personal details may be relevant, however employers should avoid asking questions that are unrelated to their job.

On the one hand, information about hobbies and interests can help employers understand an applicant’s personality and skills. For instance, a person who regularly plays team sports may have good communication and teamwork skills. Similarly, such information can be particularly useful for jobs that involve working closely with customers or colleagues. Therefore, hobbies can sometimes give employers a better understanding of a candidate beyond their academic qualifications and work experience.

On the other hand, asking about marital status or other private matters may be inappropriate. A person’s ability to perform a job is generally not connected to whether they are married or single. If employers consider such information during recruitment, they may unintentionally discriminate against certain candidates. For instance, an employer might prefer an unmarried applicant because they believed that this candidate would give their complete attention to their work. This would make the recruitment process unfair.

In my opinion, employers should only request personal information when it has a clear connection with the position. Furthermore, hobbies and interests can be included if they demonstrate useful skills, in contrast private details such as marital status should normally remain confidential. Recruitment should mainly be based on qualifications, and experience.

In conclusion, some personal information can facilitate the employers to assess candidates, although irrelevant private details should not influence hiring decisions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt effectively. You clearly discuss both sides of the argument—the potential relevance of hobbies for skill assessment and the potential for discrimination regarding marital status—and provide a clear personal opinion throughout the essay. The ideas are well-developed, particularly the example regarding how team sports might indicate teamwork skills. The conclusion effectively synthesizes your position. To reach a higher band, ensure that your supporting examples are always fully linked back to the core argument to avoid any potential for over-generalization, though your current level of development is already quite strong and meets the requirements for a high score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph has a central theme, and you use cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand,' 'On the other hand,' 'For instance,' and 'Furthermore' effectively to guide the reader. The transition between paragraphs is smooth, and the structure is coherent throughout. The use of referencing is generally accurate, and the paragraphing is appropriate for the task. To improve further, you could experiment with a wider variety of cohesive devices to ensure that the flow feels even more natural and less reliant on standard transitional phrases.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic with precision. Phrases like 'unintentionally discriminate,' 'academic qualifications,' and 'remain confidential' are used appropriately. There is a good awareness of style and collocation. While the vocabulary is accurate, it is somewhat functional. To achieve a higher band, try to incorporate more sophisticated or less common lexical items that demonstrate a deeper nuance, such as 'prejudicial,' 'professional aptitude,' or 'intrusive,' which would elevate the tone of the essay to a more academic level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.0

The essay shows a good mix of simple and complex sentence structures. You use subordinating conjunctions effectively, such as 'While some people believe...' and 'If employers consider...'. The grammar is generally accurate, and errors are rare and do not impede communication. For instance, your use of conditional structures is correct. To move toward a higher band, ensure that you consistently use a wider variety of complex structures, such as passive voice or inversion, to demonstrate greater flexibility. Additionally, ensure punctuation is always precise, particularly when using commas in complex sentences.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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