Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
It is undeniable that some workers sometimes ask for personal information like their interests ,hobbies ,either they are married or single while applying for job because of that few individual think that this kind of information may be crucial and useful while other disagree with this . according to my point of view ,i think it is important to ask personal information for records and emergency situations ,however sometimes people wants to keep it confidential and may be they feel uncomfortable . i will share both views along with my personal viewpoint in upcoming paragraphs.
To commence with, the first and foremost reason why employers few times ask for personal information while applying for job is that they need to keep it in their records . To elaborate it more , not only they ask their interest and hobbies to give they position according to that but also to give them and their families benefits
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 155 words. This significantly impacts the development of ideas. While the essay attempts to address both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion, the discussion is severely underdeveloped. The points regarding why employers ask for personal information are introduced but not fully explained or supported with relevant examples. The conclusion is missing entirely, and the argument lacks the depth required for a higher band score. To improve, you must expand on your points with specific examples and ensure you provide a clear, well-supported conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay shows some attempt at logical organization, using phrases like 'To commence with' and 'To elaborate it more'. However, the progression of ideas is hindered by the incomplete nature of the text. Paragraphing is present, but the lack of a full structure makes the overall flow disjointed. Cohesive devices are used in a somewhat mechanical way, and the transition between the introduction and the body paragraph is abrupt. To improve, focus on creating a more balanced structure with clear topic sentences and better linking words that connect ideas more naturally throughout the essay.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for basic communication but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There is some repetition of simple terms like 'personal information' and 'ask'. Some word choices are slightly unnatural, such as 'workers' instead of 'employers' in the opening sentence. There are also minor errors in word form and collocation, such as 'give they position' instead of 'assign them a position'. To improve, try to incorporate more topic-specific vocabulary related to employment and privacy, and focus on using more precise synonyms to avoid repetition.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, including issues with subject-verb agreement ('people wants'), incorrect pronoun usage ('either they are married'), and missing articles. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with spaces missing before commas. While these errors do not always prevent understanding, they are frequent enough to cause some difficulty for the reader. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring subject-verb agreement, and proofreading for punctuation errors before finalizing your work.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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