Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 7.0)

There has long been a debate about whether employers should request job applicants to provide personal information, such as their hobbies, interests and marital status. While some people believe that this information can be useful when selecting employees, others argue that it is unnecessary. I believe that some personal details may be relevant, however; employers should avoid asking questions that are unrelated to their job.

On the one hand, information about hobbies and interests can help employers understand an applicant’s personality and skills. For instance, a person who regularly plays team sports may have good communication and teamwork skills. Similarly, such information can be particularly useful for jobs that involve working closely with customers or colleagues. Therefore, hobbies can sometimes give employers a better understanding of a candidate beyond their academic qualifications and work experience.

On the other hand, asking about marital status or other private matters may be inappropriate. A person’s ability to perform a job is generally not connected to whether they are married or single. If employers consider such information during recruitment, they may unintentionally discriminate against certain candidates. For instance, an employer might prefer an unmarried applicant because they believe that this candidate would give their complete attention to their work. This would make the recruitment process unfair.

In my opinion, employers should only request personal information when it has a clear connection with the position. Furthermore, hobbies and interests can be included if they demonstrate useful skills; whereas private details such as marital status should normally remain confidential. Recruitment should mainly be based on qualifications, and experience.

In conclusion, some personal information can help the employers to assess candidates, although irrelevant private details should not influence hiring decisions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response fully addresses all parts of the task. You have clearly discussed both views regarding the inclusion of personal information in job applications and provided a well-reasoned personal opinion. The ideas are relevant and well-supported with logical examples, such as the link between team sports and communication skills, and the potential for discrimination regarding marital status. The position is consistent throughout the essay, and the conclusion effectively synthesizes the main points. To reach a higher band, you could further extend the discussion by exploring the nuance of how different industries might view these requirements differently, but overall, the task is handled very competently.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph has a central topic, and the transition between the two opposing views is smooth, using appropriate cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand'. The use of referencing is generally clear, and the paragraphing is logical. While the flow is natural, some of the linking phrases are quite standard; incorporating a wider variety of cohesive devices or more sophisticated transitions could elevate the score further. However, the current structure is effective and easy to follow throughout.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic with precision. Phrases like 'unintentionally discriminate', 'academic qualifications', and 'remain confidential' are used accurately. There is a good awareness of collocation, and the tone is appropriately formal for an IELTS task. While the vocabulary is effective, it is somewhat functional; to achieve a higher band, you could incorporate more precise or less common lexical items to express your ideas with greater sophistication. Nevertheless, the vocabulary used is accurate and supports the clarity of your arguments well.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.0

The essay displays a good variety of complex structures, such as conditional sentences ('If employers consider...') and contrastive clauses ('...whereas private details...'). The majority of your sentences are error-free, and your control over punctuation is generally strong. There is a minor error in the first paragraph where a semicolon is used incorrectly before 'however' (it should be a comma or a full stop). Despite this, your grammatical control is consistent, and the errors present are rare and do not impede communication. You have successfully used a mix of simple and complex forms to convey your ideas.

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