Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Employer sometimes seek information regarding personal data, such as favorite pursuits, their marital status and so on while applying for a job. A large number of an individual believes that this is necessary, while others disagrees with them. This essay will discuss about the both views and provide my own opinion.

First and foremost, company require some details regarding the person who is interested in post. This might includes their leisure activity and whether they are married or not. This affects plenty of factors for organization and person. Firstly, keeping records of HR and whether person have teamwork skills. moreover, a person can fit in this workforce or not. Secondly, it will help to seek aide in emergency. For instance, if any employee get injured their spouse or parents can be informed as soon as possible.

On the other hand, some people believe that this is not relevant for job. This should be depend on skills a person can have to complete the work. Some privacy issues will happens. In addition, discrimination may happens if you are married and it will affects hiring decisions. For example, if a girl is unmarried then it will affect the continuity of her job as she will get marry to someone and shift to another location.

To recapitulate, employer ask for various information regarding the person's life and it will ultimately affect the several factors. This is vital for any company. It needs some strict regulations that will not affect the decisions of interviewer and do not intrude the privacy of a person.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion, meeting the basic requirements of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding 'teamwork skills' is mentioned but not clearly linked to how personal hobbies reveal such skills. The point about discrimination is relevant but remains underdeveloped. While the position is clear, the explanation lacks the depth required for a higher band. The conclusion is a bit generic and does not fully synthesize the arguments presented in the body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'First and foremost', 'On the other hand', and 'To recapitulate'. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly inaccurate, such as 'This should be depend on' or 'This affects plenty of factors for organization and person'. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the referencing is occasionally weak, making some sentences feel disjointed. Paragraphing is present, but the internal flow within paragraphs could be improved for better coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several instances of awkward collocations and word choice errors, such as 'seek aide' instead of 'seek assistance', 'get marry' instead of 'get married', and 'favorite pursuits' which is slightly informal. The range is sufficient to convey the message, but the student struggles with more sophisticated or academic vocabulary. Spelling errors are minimal, but the overall lexical control is limited to a fairly basic level, which prevents the essay from reaching a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('company require', 'discrimination may happens'), incorrect verb forms ('if any employee get injured'), and missing articles ('in emergency'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are persistent and occur in both simple and complex sentences. The student needs to focus on basic grammatical accuracy, particularly with verb tenses and pluralization, before attempting more complex structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.