Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Employers, these days ask too much personal information to the candidates applying for jobs such as their interests or their relationship status. Some people think that it might be useful while few argue that it is not relevant due to privacy concerns. However, in my opinion, there should be a balance between two. Private information should be given only where it is necessary.

On one hand, individuals apply for different kind of jobs according to their interests and employers usually ask them about their personal information. Some people are often comfortable to share as employers should also know what kind of people are they hiring, what are their goals or motives. For instance- an influencer trying to get a role in a movie must be asked about the interests he have except acting, as their are various skills that are required to enter such fields such as what they like to do in their free time, what are their interests in order to know them better.

On the other hand, there are some kind of fields where only the experience and knowledge of a candidate matters to an employer such as a person applying to a retail position must have skills or customer service experience to reach the sales target per day. Thus, there is no requirement to know whether the person is married or not and people often keep their professional and personal life separate.

Sharing too much personal information sometimes, is not a job requirement.

To conclude, I think personal information should only be shared at certain job platforms such as TV shows, Meanwhile, in a retail industry, employers only priortize education and skills to verify the ability of a person for their company growth.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both views and providing a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While the example of an 'influencer' is relevant, the explanation regarding the retail sector is a bit brief. The argument could be strengthened by exploring the implications of privacy laws or the potential for bias in hiring practices. The position is consistent throughout, but the depth of analysis remains at a surface level, preventing it from reaching the higher bands where ideas are fully extended and supported.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'On one hand,' 'On the other hand,' and 'Thus' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally imprecise, such as the phrase 'there is no requirement to know whether the person is married or not' which lacks a strong link to the previous sentence. Paragraphing is used appropriately, but the flow between sentences could be smoother to achieve a more natural progression of ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are attempts to use topic-specific language like 'professional and personal life' and 'company growth.' However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are minor inaccuracies in collocation, such as 'ask too much personal information to the candidates' (should be 'ask candidates for too much personal information'). The word choice is functional but lacks the sophistication or precision required for a higher band score. Spelling is generally accurate throughout the text.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is always clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'what kind of people are they hiring' (should be 'what kind of people they are hiring') and 'there are various skills that are required... such as what they like to do' (awkward phrasing). Punctuation is generally functional, though there are some inconsistencies with hyphenation and comma usage. The errors do not impede communication, but they are frequent enough to prevent the response from reaching the 7.0 band, which requires more frequent error-free sentences.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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