Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
adding personal interests in your resume have become a new normal in this contemporary era, isn't it? Apparently, these days employers are demanding job seekers for their hobbies, marital status, future goals, and so on. Some people believe this additional information in inappropriate for the job, while others believe this is very useful to pick the right candidate for a particular role in the company. Whether it is necessary or not is in war of words. In my perspective it is a prominent information.
Firstly, People who find this additional information of no use believe that personals interests play no role in the performance of the employees. In other words, a person might have unique hobbies like song writing, which many employees can find irrelevant to a job role of a Chef. While that person can be a great cook. Therefore personal interests does not play an important part to find an employee.
On the other side, Some believe that individuals who have different hobbies and interests are tend to be more creative and intelligent. Thus, can proved to be a useful asset for a company. For instance, a survey was conducted by Reuters and it was found that the performance of individuals who had more hobbies and interests
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you introduce both sides of the argument and state a position, the essay is incomplete; the final paragraph is cut off mid-sentence, and the conclusion is missing. Because the response is under-length and lacks a full discussion, it does not fully address all parts of the task. To improve, ensure you provide a complete, balanced argument with a clear conclusion and sufficient supporting evidence for each point.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay uses basic cohesive devices such as 'Firstly' and 'On the other side' to signal transitions. However, the logical flow is interrupted by the incomplete nature of the text. Paragraphing is attempted, but the final paragraph is truncated, which disrupts the overall structure. The progression of ideas is clear in the initial stages, but the lack of a conclusion and the abrupt ending prevent the essay from achieving a higher level of coherence. You should focus on ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the essay reaches a logical, full conclusion.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You use some relevant terms like 'contemporary era' and 'job seekers', but there are instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'in war of words' and 'is a prominent information'. The word 'personals' is used incorrectly as a noun. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding informal or non-standard expressions. Expanding your vocabulary to include more academic or professional terminology would also be beneficial.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
There is a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent. You have several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('personal interests does not play') and incorrect verb forms ('are tend to be', 'can proved to be'). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but the overall control of complex structures is weak. To improve, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement and ensure that auxiliary verbs are used correctly in passive and active constructions. Proofreading for these common errors will help improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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