Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, sometimes providing the personal information is being mandatory to apply for job while some people are not agree with it. The subsequent paragraphs will explore the reasons of asking individual information and objection on proving personal information with particular emphasis on its broader implications, before offering a well-founded personal perspective on this matter.

On the one hand side, employers do ask for personal information like hobbies, interests and marital status, because they want to know about the worker in depth, so they can check is the worker could be fit into some specific work environments or not. For instance, employers in Canada do commonly ask for their marital status from truck drivers while applying for the job because they know their are very less drivers who do work as long haul driver who stay away from the house for 8-9 days continuously for one trip. Secondly, employers can know regarding their interests and can give them similar duties according their interests.

On the other hand side, people do believe to maintain gaps between their personal life and professional life, because they do not feel comfortable while sharing their personal things to others, even sometime people do feel uncomfortable and cannot focus properly on the work where others know them properly. This is all because of their mindset but this is reality of some people that everyone accepts. For example, their some artists who even, did not reveal that they are marry yet because they know, if they will reveal it right now then they have change their behaviour and approach towards the specific audience which can effect their work.

In my opinion, I would like stand according to situation, because sometimes employers know what they are going to offer us but we do not, if employers any provide the job duties that can going get benefits from our individual interests and hobbies then it good for worker. But sometimes any personal information is not going to impact the work they people should decide it, are willing to provide the information or not.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task, discussing both views and providing a personal opinion. The ideas are relevant, such as the example of truck drivers in Canada and the privacy concerns of artists. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat uneven. The personal opinion in the conclusion is slightly vague and could have been more clearly articulated to show a stronger stance. While the prompt is addressed, the explanation of why some employers require personal information could be more analytical rather than just descriptive. Overall, it meets the requirements for a Band 6.0 as the main features are covered, but the development is not fully extended in all areas.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. There is a progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'On the one hand side', 'Secondly', and 'In my opinion'. However, some of these transitions are slightly mechanical or non-standard (e.g., 'On the one hand side' should be 'On the one hand'). Referencing is generally clear, though some sentences are slightly disjointed, which affects the flow. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the overall cohesion could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words more naturally.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'marital status', 'professional life', and 'work environments'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'providing the personal information is being mandatory' (should be 'is mandatory') and 'they have change their behaviour' (should be 'they have to change'). The range is sufficient to convey meaning, but it lacks the precision and flexibility required for a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with verb forms and articles (e.g., 'some people are not agree with it', 'there are very less drivers', 'they have change their behaviour'). Punctuation is also inconsistent in places. These errors do not typically impede communication, but they are noticeable and occur throughout the text. To reach a higher band, the student needs to demonstrate better control over complex structures and reduce the frequency of basic grammatical slips.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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