Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

TASK-II 6/9/26

While applying for a job the employers ask for personal information such as pursuits and interests, even about the marital status. A section of society think that the information could be useful during emergency situations, whereas the other section believe that it can be dangerous as the information can be misused by the employer.

Talking about the former views, sharing personal information to the employer has become a neccesity these days, the personal information become advantageous in an emergency situation. If a person is married, the organization gave family benefits to the person. The employes personal interests and hobbies help the company to know more about their employees.

On the other hand, sharing information to the employer could be dangerous, as there are high chances that information can be misused. Another thing is that, personal interest or hobbies are not useful to any organization since at working place only the work is discussed not the personal interests.

In my opinion, discussing personal interests to the employer is just that the employer does not want to make interview boring instead they want to keep it smooth. Since, interviews give nervousness to the interview, talking about such topic would ease their anxiety. However, such things should be dissucussed within a limit without interfering the candidate's personal space.

In conclusion, sharing personal interest and hobbies to the employer does not cause harm sometimes. Though, the personal space should be respected.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion. However, the essay is under the 250-word minimum requirement, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. The arguments provided, such as the mention of 'family benefits' or 'easing anxiety', are somewhat superficial and lack the depth required for a higher band score. The ideas are relevant but remain under-developed, and the conclusion is quite brief. To improve, you should expand on your points with more detailed explanations and specific examples to ensure the response meets the length requirement and demonstrates a more thorough exploration of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices like 'On the other hand' and 'In conclusion' to signal shifts in the argument. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes mechanical, and the links between sentences could be more sophisticated. For example, the transition between the introduction and the first body paragraph is abrupt. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, well-developed topic sentence would help improve the flow and logical progression of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to communicate your ideas clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'marital status' and 'personal space'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'pursuits' (which is slightly unnatural in this context) and 'the interview' (referring to the person instead of the interviewee). The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, and you rely on basic phrasing. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary and collocations related to employment and privacy.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'the organization gave' (tense inconsistency), 'the employes personal interests' (missing possessive apostrophe), and 'without interfering the candidate's' (preposition error). Punctuation is also inconsistent in places. To improve, focus on ensuring subject-verb agreement, correct use of articles, and refining your control over complex sentence structures. Proofreading for common errors like missing apostrophes and incorrect prepositions will help increase your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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