Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-07
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
It is irrefutable that sometimes companies acquire information from employees not only regarding their passion, hobbies but also about their marital status. Some individuals believe that this information is valuable, while others strongly oppose it. I will discuss both views along with my opinion in the forthcoming paragraphs.
To commence with, there are multifarious reasons why people think that asking personal questions are useful. The predominant one is that it is convenience for employer to choose perfect person for available particular position by knowing their interest and passion towards work responsibilities. For instance, child care centres in Canada, they ask questions from employees about their marital status and child as well as about their patience level because if employee have child , definitely he or she knows how handle children in hard situations. Thus, personal information could be useful to find qualified employee.
Other hand,
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response is significantly under the required word count of 250 words, reaching only 145 words. Consequently, the task is not fully addressed, and the development of ideas is severely limited. While you introduce the topic and provide a brief example regarding child care centers, the essay ends abruptly mid-sentence, failing to discuss the opposing view or provide a conclusion. This lack of completion prevents the essay from meeting the requirements for a higher band score. To improve, you must ensure you address all parts of the prompt, including a balanced discussion of both views and a clear personal opinion, while meeting the minimum length requirement.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay shows an attempt at logical organization with an introduction and a body paragraph. You use cohesive devices such as 'To commence with' and 'For instance' to signal the flow of ideas. However, because the essay is incomplete and ends mid-sentence, the overall progression is interrupted. Paragraphing is present, but the lack of a full structure makes it difficult to assess your ability to manage cohesion across a complete argument. To improve, focus on completing your thoughts and using a wider variety of linking words to connect your arguments more fluidly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'irrefutable', 'multifarious', and 'predominant'. These show an attempt to use more sophisticated language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'it is convenience for employer' (should be 'it is convenient for the employer') and 'asking personal questions are useful' (should be 'is useful'). The vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning, but it lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. Focus on learning common collocations to improve your accuracy.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'if employee have child' (should be 'if an employee has a child') and 'how handle children' (should be 'how to handle children'). These errors are noticeable but do not completely impede communication. Your control over articles and subject-verb agreement needs improvement. To reach a higher band, aim to produce more error-free complex sentences and pay closer attention to basic grammatical rules like pluralization and the use of prepositions.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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