Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is undoubtedly debatable whether employers should ask for personal information from their employees or keep it confidential. I agree that it is relevant and useful most of the time; however, information about marital status can be kept private.

Some companies ask employees about their hobbies and interests because it can be helpful and useful in getting to know their personality and working style. For example, if a person would like to play a team game, it would give an idea that he or she would be a good team player. Or if someone is good at mind games, they might be good at paying attention to detail.

However, some people disagree and say that personal information is something that is really not needed to reveal publicly, as it has nothing to do with work. For instance, if someone is separated from their partner and is divorced, they fear being judged by their colleagues. It will affect their performance and overall productivity.

In my opinion, it is best to have different columns for personal preferences. One column should be for hobbies, where they can share their interests, or one column should be for married life and whether they are comfortable sharing or not. It is important as it is helpful for e

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you address both sides of the argument and provide a personal opinion, the discussion is underdeveloped. The conclusion is incomplete, cutting off mid-sentence, which prevents a full resolution of the task. To improve, you must expand your arguments with more detailed examples and ensure the essay is fully completed. The current length limits your ability to demonstrate the depth of thought required for a higher band score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and you use basic cohesive devices such as 'however', 'for example', and 'in my opinion' to link ideas. However, the progression of ideas is hindered by the incomplete nature of the final paragraph. The referencing is generally clear, but the overall structure feels somewhat mechanical. To achieve a higher score, ensure that your paragraphs are balanced in length and that your conclusion provides a comprehensive summary of your main points rather than trailing off.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You use a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey your meaning, such as 'confidential', 'productivity', and 'personal preferences'. However, the range is somewhat limited and relies on repetitive phrasing like 'helpful and useful'. There are no significant errors in word choice that impede communication, but the vocabulary lacks the sophistication and precision expected at higher levels. To improve, try to incorporate more topic-specific collocations and avoid repeating simple adjectives.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as the conditional sentence 'if a person would like to play a team game, it would give an idea...'. While there are few grammatical errors, the range of structures is somewhat restricted. Punctuation is generally accurate, though the incomplete ending leaves the final sentence grammatically unfinished. To improve, aim for a greater variety of complex sentence forms and ensure that all sentences are fully formed and grammatically sound.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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