Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Through different forms of print and digital media we come across reports that when people apply for job they need to give all the information about their personal life.Some people think that personal information is very important to mention when applying for job.In a sharp contrast,others believe that people do not need to mention personal details.After a close scrutiny of both the sides,I would go with the former group.

Those who support the former ideology put forward an argument that personal information is extremely important and useful when applying for job.For instance, interests, hobbies,like, dislike, contact details and many more.This view exits as if they mention these details,it will be helpful for company in emergency.Moreover,my opinion can be bolstered with the fact that company can aware about their interest and can give them suitable work.This hypothesis is buoyed in the Idea that they can get better job even they can enjoy during work.Consequently, company can get benefits form their employees.

Nevertheless,proponents of second view state that personal details do not require when applying for job because it is not useful.As a matter of fact that company only focus on people's hard work and willingness about work.For example,how employees work for company and what kind of improvements they can give to company even employees promotion.Thus, personal information does not matter in company.Furthermore, company do not want to involve in personal life because company always focus on its progress.A global research in this matter has proven that there are 90% of company from my country which are only concentrate on its work.

All in all, future will unfold many surprises for us.The need is to be proactive and plough ahead with optimism.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal position in the introduction. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the argument that personal details are useful for 'emergency' is not fully explained, and the claim that 90% of companies in your country focus only on work lacks a logical connection to the prompt's core debate. The conclusion is also very brief and does not summarize the main points or restate your position effectively, which limits the depth of the response.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, and there is a basic attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'Nevertheless', 'Moreover', and 'Consequently'. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly unnatural, such as the transition into the final paragraph. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between sentences within paragraphs could be smoother. The logical progression is present but lacks the sophistication required for a higher band.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'proponents', 'ideology', and 'scrutiny'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'company can aware about their interest' (should be 'become aware of') and 'company do not want to involve in personal life' (should be 'get involved in'). The range is sufficient but lacks the precision and flexibility needed for a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the company'), subject-verb agreement ('company do not want'), and preposition usage. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with several missing spaces after commas and periods. These errors occur throughout the text, though they do not typically impede communication. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and sentence structure variety.

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