Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

I would like to say that many companies required the information about new employer who is filling the form for join the company and give the all information about their life like personal information, married or single, habits ,hobbies and about their interests because it is the part of company's rules.

some people say that like this information is useful and relevant for company, while the another people say that is not necessary that the all personal information give to the company. some time it might be a risk, and people should not give the all information about their personal life whether they applying for job or stay in hotels or anywhere.

Some time employers join the new company and did not put the all information about their personal life and company not sure about their past,may be they were a criminal in past and record in police stations and may be police wanted his person.

And the another thing if employers not give the information to company so if they face an accidental situation in the company then how company inform about any situation to employer's family.

Here i would like to say that it is very good way that employer should give the all personal information to the company.

in my own experience i would like to give a example,

Recently i went in a company with my best friend's wife. my friend was worked there.

Unfortunatily my friend not give the information about his life to the company.one day he not reaches in the office

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both views and providing an opinion. However, the development of ideas is inconsistent. While you provide reasons for why personal information is necessary (e.g., security and emergency contact), the arguments are somewhat repetitive and lack depth. The personal example provided at the end is incomplete and does not effectively support your argument, as the narrative cuts off abruptly. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that your examples are fully explained and linked back to the main point of the paragraph. Your position is clear, but the supporting evidence needs more logical structure and completion.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay lacks a clear structure. Paragraphing is used, but the transitions between ideas are often abrupt or missing. For instance, the shift from discussing security to emergency situations is not well-signposted. You rely on basic connectors like 'and' or 'the another thing', which makes the flow mechanical. To reach a higher band, use a wider range of cohesive devices such as 'furthermore', 'consequently', or 'in contrast' to link your sentences and paragraphs more fluidly. Additionally, ensure that your ideas follow a logical progression rather than jumping between points.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. You frequently use basic terms like 'information', 'company', and 'give'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'new employer' (when you mean 'employee') and 'accidental situation' (which is not a standard collocation for workplace emergencies). To improve, try to incorporate more precise vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'background checks', 'confidentiality', 'professional conduct', or 'emergency protocols'. Expanding your range of synonyms will help you avoid repeating the same words throughout the essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'many companies required' instead of 'require'), article usage (e.g., 'the all information'), and sentence structure. Many sentences are run-on or fragmented, such as 'Unfortunatily my friend not give the information about his life to the company.one day he not reaches in the office'. You rely heavily on simple sentence structures. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, including correct verb tenses and word order, before attempting more complex structures.

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