Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays mostly company when opening jobs and seeking applications, it will ask for personal information's such as their hobbies and if married or single. Many peoples agree that these information are relevant and many others think that this is not relevant and lead to get more into their private life. I strongly agree that these details will help to understand the employer to choose a right candidate for specific the job requirement and future growth of the company and employee as well.

Firstly when a employer higher a employee, they have different job requirement for specific team wise or department wise. Some jobs are more focus on individual contributor and some positions are related to managerial skills. Most of the company while recruiting the new hire they need to understand the person if working as a team player, what interests in his or her day-to-day life, as what people enjoy in their personnel life and if doing similar type of work in there professional life in that case they give more contributions in company and to the team.

On the other hands, many people think that if they provide there personnel info might be the employer judge their capability based on their hobbies and interests, as many people because of their other responsibility at home might be not developed relevant routine and have not implemented in their routine life. So people got scared in that case, may be they will lost the opportunity to get their dream job if they are not able to provide a impactful or meaningful hobbies or interest to employer.

Although it is a debate full discussions that if personnel information's should be provided or not, but in my opinion I strongly agree that these details give more insight about the persons character and how respectfully can provide a transparent info to the employer so they can choose the right candidate for the required positions for the company future growth.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both views—that personal information is relevant and useful versus the view that it is an invasion of privacy—and clearly states the writer's own opinion in the introduction and conclusion. Ideas are extended and supported, such as when discussing why employers might want to know about team-working traits or why candidates might fear being judged. However, the development of ideas tends to be repetitive and somewhat generalized, relying on circular phrasing like 'future growth of the company and employee as well'. While the position is clear throughout, the reasoning could be sharper and more fully elaborated to reach higher bands. Therefore, it meets the requirements for a Band 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a recognizable four-paragraph structure comprising an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Logical progression is attempted using cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'On the other hands', and 'Although'. However, cohesion is frequently faulty or mechanical. For instance, 'On the other hands' contains a grammatical error, and referencing is occasionally unclear, such as 'these information are relevant' where pronoun and noun agreements falter. Paragraphing is used, but the internal flow of sentences can be disjointed and repetitive. These issues place the response solidly at Band 6.0.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student displays an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common lexical items such as 'individual contributor', 'managerial skills', and 'transparent info'. However, there are notable word-choice and collocation errors throughout the text, including 'personal information's' (possessive misuse), 'higher a employee' (spelling and vocabulary error for 'hire an employee'), and 'personnel life' instead of 'personal life'. These errors do not generally impede communication, but they recur frequently enough to prevent the score from rising above Band 5.5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting complex structures using subordinate clauses ('Although it is a debate full discussions that if personnel information's should be provided...'). However, grammatical accuracy is weak, with frequent errors in basic structures, verb forms, and agreements, such as 'mostly company when opening jobs... it will ask', 'these information are', and 'if they are not able to provide a impactful... hobbies or interest to employer'. Punctuation is also sparse or misused in places. Because errors are frequent and occasionally cause difficulty for the reader, this warrants a Band 5.0.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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