Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowdays, people apply for jobs and they are share personal information related to various things like hobbies , like or dislike and marriage status.More people think that this information is good and useful to find a job but some individuals are disagree . In the eassy, i will discuss the both views with my own point views in the following paragraphs.

On the one hand, if individuals are share their personal information While ,applying for a job which is relevant and useful it is easy for manager to select the person by their hobbies and interests. To explain this more, if person share these things due to this manager can reconize what is ability of this person as well as thinking related to various things such as how much interests they have to get a job .For example, a recently survey was conducted by reserach whose people share their personal information in their resume they are more chance to hire in company because they explain everything in resume rather than those who do not share these information.Moreover, this is the best way to hire in the company by showing your personal detials .

On the other hand, more and more people think that this is not a cool idea to share your personal information with other persons. Furthermore, sometime people can use your personal information for their own benefits as well as miss use your personal data. For instance, on the social media people can spread their personal details in public due to this crime rate is increase because they can easily find all information of that person with in seconds after that they can black mail the person by their personal information also sometime person attempt suicide.So, never share your personal information with anyone also who are close to your heart .

To Conclude , when you apply for job only share relevant information instead of your personal information because we are not sure about the second person . Sometime , they are use your data for thier own benefits.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both views on sharing personal information during job applications and providing a personal opinion in the conclusion. However, the development of ideas is limited and sometimes repetitive. For instance, the student states that sharing information helps managers understand abilities, but this point is not fully extended with concrete examples; instead, the essay provides a vague mention of a survey. Similarly, the counterargument concerning security risks quickly jumps to extreme consequences like suicide without deeper exploration. While a clear position is maintained throughout the essay, the arguments remain somewhat superficial, placing the response firmly in the band 5 or 6 range. Because the main requirements of the prompt are addressed, the response achieves a solid band 6.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is divided into an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a brief conclusion, showing a recognizable overall arrangement. Paragraphing is attempted, although the conclusion is overly abrupt and consists of only two sentences. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'To Conclude' are used to structure the text, but internal cohesion within sentences is frequently faulty or mechanical. For example, phrases like 'While ,applying for a job which is relevant and useful' and 'due to this crime rate is increase' disrupt the logical flow. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, such as pronoun usage in 'because they can easily find all information'. Despite these limitations, the progression of ideas is generally followed by the reader, justifying a band 5.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, touching upon topics like employment, hobbies, and personal data security. Attempts are made to use less common items such as 'reconize' (recognize), 'black mail', and 'misuse', but these are often marred by spelling errors and awkward word choices. There are also numerous basic vocabulary errors, such as 'marriage status' instead of 'marital status', 'reserach' for researchers, and 'detials' for details. While the vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey the basic message and does not completely impede communication, the high frequency of lexical and spelling errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but control over grammar and punctuation is weak throughout the response. Punctuation errors are widespread, including misplaced commas (e.g., 'While ,applying') and missing punctuation. There are frequent grammatical errors involving verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and prepositions, such as 'some individuals are disagree', 'people apply for jobs and they are share', and 'crime rate is increase'. Complex sentence formations frequently break down grammatically, causing difficulty for the reader and requiring them to re-read sections to grasp the intended meaning. These persistent and frequent errors place the essay at a band 5 level.

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