Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-14
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.0)
The importance of personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful whic was always debatable has now become more controversial with many people claiminig that it is beneficial while others reject this nition.The substantial influence of this trend has sparked the controversy over the potential impact in recent years.In my opinion,the former proposition appears to be more rational.This essay will further elaborate my views for favoring the negative impact and thus,will lead to a logical conclusion.
Analyzing,the statement and explaining further,the first and the foremost reason behind this is that people applying their personal information such as their hobbies and interests,and whether they are married or single.This is harmful to them because some one could misuse this information.Sharing personal information allows the other person to understand your strengths and determine whether or not you are suitable for the job.Another striking benefit in this regard is that never share your exact home address,phone number,or bank details on public forms or open profiles to avoid scams.Categorically discussing,it can not be ignored that the main reason behind this is that exposing your phone number or location makes you an easy target for spam or cybercrime.
Probing ahead,one of the main underling reason stem from the fact is that personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single not saif for online.Moving further,it is pertinent to mention that dont use
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response attempts to address the prompt regarding the collection of personal information by employers, but it fails to fully develop a coherent position. The introduction contains contradictory statements, noting that the writer's view is that 'the former proposition appears to be more rational' while also mentioning 'favoring the negative impact.' The body paragraphs are largely disconnected and introduce irrelevant ideas such as avoiding scams, bank details, and cybercrime, rather than focusing specifically on hobbies, interests, and marital status in a workplace context. Furthermore, the response trails off abruptly at the end ('dont use'), leaving the task incomplete. This demonstrates significant under-development and confusion regarding the prompt requirements, corresponding to a Band 4.0.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The organizational structure of the response is severely disrupted by poor paragraphing, abrupt transitions, and incomplete thoughts. The text opens with a confusing introduction riddled with run-on sentences and punctuation errors, such as 'whic was always debatable has now become more controversial with many people claiminig that it is beneficial while others reject this nition.The substantial influence...' Cohesive devices are either misused or absent, and referencing is frequently unclear, making it difficult to follow the progression of ideas. Additionally, the essay does not conclude properly and cuts off mid-sentence. Overall, the presentation lacks logical flow and coherent arrangement, fitting the Band 4.0 descriptors.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The vocabulary used throughout the essay is basic, repetitive, and often imprecise. The student relies heavily on generic phrases and memorized transitional templates like 'the first and the foremost reason' and 'it is pertinent to mention.' There are frequent lexical errors and odd word choices, such as 'claiminig', 'nition', and 'underling reason'. Furthermore, terms are sometimes used out of context, such as discussing 'bank details' and 'cybercrime' in a prompt specifically about job applications and personal backgrounds. Because the vocabulary is limited and contains errors that strain the reader's comprehension, a Band 4.0 is appropriate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The grammatical range is extremely limited, consisting mostly of flawed simple and attempted complex structures. The text is plagued by severe punctuation and sentence-boundary errors, including missing spaces after commas, run-on sentences, and sentence fragments (e.g., 'Analyzing,the statement and explaining further...'). Subject-verb agreement and word forms are frequently incorrect, as seen in 'people applying their personal information' and 'reason stem from the fact'. The high frequency of grammatical errors frequently distorts meaning and impedes communication, resulting in a Band 4.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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