Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some people mentioned that asking the personal information of the individuals, while hiring new candidates, are one of the important thing to ask, however, others disagree on sharing their information with the work place. In my view, employers should ask for the basic information for the background check and future events.

On the one hand, few people agree that provinding the fundamental information about themselves including their interests and hobbies and their marriage status. The core reason behind trusting to share that private information with employers becasue of the trust and they all know that the information will be encrypted to the company only. Additionally, sharing things will helpful to check the background of the candidates. Furthermore, it will useful to arrange future arrangements accordingly. For example, on the work place team gathering event, comapny's Human resource department will use the given infomation to provide any personal gift or arrainging the mentioned shared games and so on. Hence, proving the basic information will be helpful to ensure safety of the company and to customize the individuals exprience.

On the other hand, there are some people are not comfotable for share their private information, for few reasons. One of the prior thinking behind that behaviour is the safety of their imformation. how safe their information been stored online. For instance, nowadays, there are many cases available, where company's sites and private drives been hacked and all the data being leaked to the hackers. Secondly, they do not want to judge by others for their choices and wanted to be think and live freely. Thus, for the internet safety issue and prevent the judgement at the work place are the most reliastic reasons reponsible behind that thinking.

In conclusion, I would like to choose the option that is provinding all the necessary information to comapany for the welfare of employer and for the employees.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both views regarding personal information in job applications and provides a clear personal opinion. The writer discusses the utility of gathering background data for company events and security, as well as the counter-arguments concerning privacy and data leaks. However, some ideas are slightly repetitive or under-developed, particularly in the conclusion where the phrasing is vague. Examples such as team gatherings and hackers illustrate the arguments, but the overall depth of argumentation sits comfortably at a Band 6 level, where all parts of the task are addressed, though some aspects lack thorough extension.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into four paragraphs, following a standard introduction, body paragraph, opposing body paragraph, and conclusion structure. Cohesive devices are employed, such as 'On the one hand', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion', though some referencing is faulty or mechanical, as seen in 'few people agree that provinding...'. Paragraphing is used sufficiently to separate distinct viewpoints, but the progression of ideas can occasionally feel abrupt or disjointed due to grammatical interference and awkward transitions, aligning the text with a Band 6 standard.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, attempting some less common items such as 'encrypted', 'customise', and 'background check'. However, there are notable spelling errors and word-choice inaccuracies throughout the text, including 'provinding' instead of providing, 'becasue' instead of because, 'comfotable' instead of comfortable, and 'reponsible' instead of responsible. These errors do not seriously impede communication, but they restrict the lexical score to Band 5.5, as the numerous slips demonstrate a lack of control over less common lexical items.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but control over grammar is inconsistent. There are frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('asking the personal information... are one of the important thing'), missing verbs or auxiliary errors ('how safe their information been stored'), and awkward preposition use. While the meaning is generally retrievable, the frequency of errors in complex structures places this response at a Band 5, as grammatical inaccuracies cause some difficulty for the reader and prevent it from reaching a stable Band 6.

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