Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Everyone craves for a private life in terms of keeping a personal and private life separate. In real world, when one fills out the job application they are required to fill out the columns which requires information about married status, hobbies, interest and age. While filling out perosnal information demanding columns, some people feel awkwardness of diclosing their facts whereas some people conclude this as a positive intiative from company side. From my perspective, this is highly comendable to be considered while employing a person in a organisation.

Firstly, the sense of uncomfortable is seen in employees while asking them to tell about their lifes. This could be because as they believe in the role for which they are applying in a company has nothing to do with a questions such as they like any social activities in a particular or where they like to spend their idle time. Furthermore, they feel company is invading in their personal life by asking question whether they are married or single. Consequently, all these questions imbibes a sense of doubt, lack of confidence and discomfort from employees side.

On the other hand, those questions are considerably crucial in order to know about a person who is completely stranger for a company. At a basic level, an intoduction is essential whenever an individual meeting a first time with another people. Additionally, it consists of both academic and personal part such as from where they belongs to, what they have achieved in career as well as age, with whom they are living. This serve as a foundation in terms of communicating with other party. Usually, a person avoids converstions in unfamiliar environment. From company's ideology, offering a job to any candidate acts like inviting someone to family and in family everyone is familiar with each other. To become a normal member of family, it is indeed crucial to get others know about yourself and infroming about your life to them.

Overall, it depends upon personal outlook of person while disclosing the information to considered as something invading their privacy or someone trying to know about your personal likes or dislikes from positive angle.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both the view that personal information requests are intrusive and the view that they are useful, while also providing a clear personal opinion in the introduction. The ideas are generally relevant and extended, such as the comparison of a company to a family. However, the development of some arguments suffers from imprecise phrasing and slight circularity, preventing the response from reaching the higher band levels. For instance, the discussion on why employees feel uncomfortable could be more sharply focused on privacy versus professionalism. Nevertheless, a distinct position is maintained throughout, satisfying the requirements for a Band 6.5 or 7.0, leaning towards the lower end due to under-developed supporting examples.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is divided into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus, including an introduction, two body paragraphs representing opposing views, and a brief conclusion. Cohesive devices are used to signal transitions, such as 'Firstly', 'Furthermore', and 'On the other hand'. However, referencing and logical progression occasionally falter. For example, sentences like 'This serve as a foundation in terms of communicating with other party' exhibit mechanical linking and unclear pronoun reference ('This'). Furthermore, the conclusion is overly abrupt and fails to effectively synthesise the arguments presented in the body paragraphs. These issues in cohesion and referencing place the response firmly in the Band 6 category.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student attempts a range of vocabulary appropriate for a general topic, using terms such as 'initiative', 'invasion', 'unfamiliar environment', and 'ideology'. However, there are numerous lexical errors and awkward collocations throughout the text, including 'craves for a private life', 'perosnal information demanding columns', 'sense of uncomfortable', and 'comendable'. Spelling errors such as 'intitiative', 'comendable', 'intoduction', 'converstions', and 'infroming' also detract from the overall quality. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the general meaning, the frequency of word-choice and spelling inaccuracies prevents the response from achieving a Band 6.5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting relative clauses and conditional structures. However, grammatical accuracy is weak, with frequent errors that occasionally impede smooth reading. Examples of errors include subject-verb agreement issues ('information about married status, hobbies, interest and age... requires'), incorrect prepositions ('from company side', 'in an organisation'), and awkward phrasing like 'when one fills out the job application they are required to fill out the columns which requires'. Punctuation and article usage are also inconsistent. Because errors occur across both simple and complex structures with noticeable frequency, the response aligns best with Band 5.0 descriptors.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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