Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In this busy pace of life everyone is busy in their work. In India mostly people prefer to jobs for their daily recquerment. Employers sometime say people applying job for personal knowlage, like as interests and hobbiesa, marige status.Some believe that it is useful and some disagree. I will discuse both views and give my own view.

There are many advantages of doing jobs by own interest. First, people complate their work enjoyly and with exprience for instance, whan people take interest than they can reached the company on the pick level of sucsses. Second, If any person have hobby about this work so, they work consnetratly and with happy. What's more, they can get better opprotunities in jobs and get pernotions als.

There are some disagree points also, such as some time people have no exprince about their work related to their hobbies and interests. Hance, lack of exprince can create the risk for the company. The stock can decrase day by day.

In my opinion, employers should take their workers according th job exprince. They can take an interviws related to work afficiency. Skilled person is importentbecause, emplyoees paly a fundament role in prograss of any compny and reached the ligh level.

In conclusion, chossing the workers for job regarding to their ability, exprince and skilled based on only interest.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5

The response attempts to discuss both views regarding personal information in job applications, mentioning reasons for and against, and provides a concluding opinion. However, the ideas are underdeveloped and repetitive, lacking depth and specific examples. Furthermore, the response falls significantly short of the word count requirement, containing only 222 words compared to the minimum of 250 words. This under-length impacts the overall development of the task. Phrases like 'Employers sometime say people applying job for personal knowlage' demonstrate a limited exploration of the prompt's nuances. Consequently, the score reflects an incomplete development of the task requirements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The text is organized into paragraphs corresponding to an introduction, body paragraphs for both views, personal opinion, and conclusion. However, the logical progression is frequently disrupted by awkward phrasing and abrupt transitions. Cohesive devices are minimal and basic, such as 'First' and 'Second', which leads to a mechanical feel. Referencing is occasionally unclear, as seen in sentences like 'If any person have hobby about this work so, they work consnetratly and with happy.' Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion within sentences and paragraphs requires substantial improvement to achieve a clearer flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The lexical resource is basic and limited, containing numerous spelling and word-choice errors that frequently impede communication. Examples of inaccurate vocabulary include 'recquerment' for requirements, 'knowlage' for knowledge, 'hobbiesa' for hobbies, 'marige' for marriage, 'complate' for complete, 'exprience' for experience, 'sucsses' for success, 'opprotunities' for opportunities, 'pernotions' for promotions, 'Hance' for hence, 'decrase' for decrease, 'afficiency' for efficiency, and 'chossing' for choosing. While the writer attempts to discuss a business-related topic, the heavy reliance on incorrect word forms and spelling mistakes restricts the range of vocabulary significantly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

Grammatical control is weak throughout the response, featuring a very limited range of structures and frequent errors in basic grammar, tense, and sentence construction. There are numerous non-error-free sentences, such as 'In this busy pace of life everyone is busy in their work', 'In India mostly people prefer to jobs for their daily recquerment', and 'Skilled person is importentbecause, emplyoees paly a fundament role in prograss of any compny'. Subject-verb agreement errors, incorrect prepositions, and faulty sentence boundaries are pervasive. These frequent errors cause considerable difficulty for the reader and prevent the text from achieving a higher band.

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