Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

While a number of individuals believe that it is better for employers to ask personal information such as their hobbies, interests and their marital status as they may be relevant and valuable, others argue that it is irrelevant. Although both viewpoints have merit, I believe that these information can be useful for recruiting suitable employees for a particular role.

On the one hand, proponents are of the opinion that personal identification are necessary for employers when applying for jobs. A key reason is that these details will give recruiters a clear understanding about a candidate's skills and aptitude. For instance, a large number of multinational companies requires a background check and a proper reference as a part of hiring process. If a hiring manager have valuable knowledge and positive reviews about a candidate, they are more likely to get hired. This is mainly because it will be easier and more convenient for employer to understand the abilities and interests for a task. Consequently, personal information are crucial for employers to decide the suitable employees.

On the other hand, opponents contend that it is redundant for employers to request personal information from applicants. This is largely because sensitive details such a marital status and personal choice's can negatively impact their profile. To illustrate, many employers ask private information such as married or single to their applicants. Such questions in their interviews enable a hiring employer to organise their flexibilities as some professions requires a demanding schedules. However, sharing confidential data can lead to violence of an individual's privacy. As a result, sharing personal information might be irrelevant.

In conclusion, it is often argued whether employers should request personal information from applicants when applying for an employment. From my perspective, it is extremely important for an employer to have a knowledge regarding their potential employee to assign their role as per companies requirement.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response successfully addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both views on whether employers should ask personal information and clearly stating a personal position in the introduction and conclusion. The ideas are relevant, such as discussing background checks and privacy concerns. However, some arguments lack full development or slip into slight contradictions; for example, the first body paragraph conflates personal hobbies with background checks and criminal/reference checks. Additionally, the phrase 'this information can be useful' treats an uncountable noun as plural ('these information'). Despite minor flaws in logical extension, the writer maintains a clear position throughout, aligning well with the Band 6 or Band 7 descriptors. Overall, it provides a solid discussion of the task requirements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay demonstrates a clear overall progression with a recognizable introduction, two body paragraphs presenting contrasting views, and a concluding paragraph. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas. Cohesive devices are employed to signal transitions, such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion'. However, referencing and cohesion occasionally become mechanical or slightly faulty, as seen in pronoun agreement issues like 'personal information such as their hobbies... others argue that it is irrelevant... I believe that these information can be useful'. While the logical flow is generally maintained, these minor lapses in cohesive ties prevent the response from achieving a higher band.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common lexical items such as 'multinational companies', 'confidential data', and 'aptitude'. However, there are noticeable word choice and collocation errors throughout the text, including 'personal identification are necessary' instead of 'details', 'personal choice's' with an incorrect apostrophe, and 'violence of an individual's privacy' instead of 'violation'. Furthermore, grammatical number errors with vocabulary ('these information', 'personal information are') recur. While communication is not severely impeded, these lexical inaccuracies demonstrate limitations that cap the score at this level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including conditional or relative clauses like 'If a hiring manager have valuable knowledge and positive reviews... they are more likely to get hired.' However, grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are several subject-verb agreement errors ('this information can... I believe that these information', 'a large number... requires', 'hiring manager have', 'professions requires', 'personal information are'), incorrect singular/plural pairings ('such a marital status'), and awkward phrasing ('organise their flexibilities'). While complex structures are attempted, the frequent errors in basic agreement and pluralisation require careful reading and pull the grammar score into the middle range.

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