Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-16
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Nowadays, many companies ask people for personal information. such as their hobbies and interests.most of people they are married or single.instead,some people ask information is most useful.while others beleives is not necessary.in this eassy i discuss about both views and giving by relvant opnion in upcoming paragraphs.
on the one hand, i this personal imformation is most important in our life.Because when i apply a job in any field companies ask send me personal information and also they can check age experince status and then start next step.for example you apply a job in walmart company as a manger position company ask you send me all your personal details such as regarding study how many experience you have and check the all details. it may also help them choose the right person for a job.
on the other hand,some people believe that the personal information should be kept private.some people do not send hobbies and status when they can do a job.for example married person or single person can have a same skillsand experience.And some people also uncomfortable send personal information.i think this is a not good thing.
In my opinion,if someone for ajob in restaurants,their have communication skills and customer service experince are more inportant than material status.
In conclusion, personal information can sometimes help employers understand applicants. However, I believe that skills, education and work experience are more important when choosing the right person for a job.The job is very important in our life because its help we do everything.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both views on whether personal information is relevant for job applications and providing a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is limited and at times repetitive. For example, the student writes, 'in this eassy i discuss about both views and giving by relvant opnion in upcoming paragraphs,' which follows a formulaic introduction rather than fully exploring the prompt's nuances. The arguments regarding hobbies versus skills are somewhat superficial, as seen in the restaurant example: 'their have communication skills and customer service experince are more inportant than material status.' While the main parts of the prompt are covered, the lack of fully extended ideas places this response at Band 5.0.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The response shows some basic organisation with paragraph breaks corresponding to different sections of the essay, such as the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, there is no clear overall progression due to numerous mechanical errors in cohesion and referencing. Punctuation and capitalisation are largely absent, making sentence boundaries difficult to follow (e.g., 'Nowadays, many companies ask people for personal information. such as their hobbies and interests.most of people they are married or single.instead,some people ask information is most useful.while others beleives is not necessary.'). Cohesive devices are either missing or misused, resulting in a disjointed flow of ideas. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion is weak. These features align closely with Band 4.0 descriptors.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, relying on common words related to employment such as 'job', 'companies', 'information', 'skills', and 'experience'. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'material status' instead of 'marital status', 'experince' instead of 'experience', and 'send me personal information' instead of 'submit personal information'. The range of vocabulary is limited to what is minimally adequate for the task. Spelling errors are frequent (e.g., 'eassy', 'beleives', 'opnion', 'inportant'). These characteristics reflect the Band 4.0 level for lexical resource.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The grammatical range is extremely limited, consisting mostly of simple and attempted complex sentences that contain frequent foundational errors. There is a lack of control over basic structures, subject-verb agreement, and tense consistency. Examples of grammatical failures include 'most of people they are married or single', 'some people ask information is most useful', and 'if someone for ajob in restaurants,their have communication skills'. Punctuation is largely neglected throughout the text, and clauses are frequently fused together incorrectly. Because errors are very frequent and constantly impede the reader's understanding, the performance fits the Band 4.0 criteria.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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