Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Giving personal data during to companies has become a matter of concern. Some consider it as worthwhile and other controvert and stress it worthless.

Certainly, protagonist emphasize by saying that employers should take personal data of the candidates who are seeking for job since employer can manage them according to background of a person. A married person need work life balance so employer should treat him according to his martial status for better productivity of company.To exemplify, TATA group research found that employees are doing better productivity after getting a paid holiday every month for their families. Thus, the company can only survive if it take care about their employee's family by getting background information.

Conversely, other opine that personal data should not be shared to the employers because they do misuse of our information for task acheivement . As, managers will start giving more tasks to unmarried employee , this will lead to harassment and unethicial workplace. For example , UNCO group research found that small companies are giving more work to unmarried employees for task achievement on same salary.

Ergo, collecting personal data of worker directly lead to bad workplace.

I personally believe that companies should not take data of worker rather than they can give them option. They should not force them to share personal information . Moreover, cooperatives should work on management and running system.They should give clear and equal task rather than doing discrimination on their background .

In an inference, associative and constructive steps should be taken by businesses to gain trust and respect from employees

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both views on sharing personal data with employers and providing a clear personal opinion. The writer presents relevant ideas, such as work-life balance and the potential for workplace discrimination or harassment. However, some ideas are under-developed or supported by unconvincing, invented examples, such as the cited 'TATA group research' and 'UNCO group research'. The position is clear throughout, but the reasoning sometimes lacks depth and generality, preventing the response from reaching higher bands. Overall, the task is adequately addressed in line with Band 6 criteria.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a recognizable paragraph structure, including an introduction, body paragraphs for both views, a personal opinion, and a conclusion. However, cohesion is often faulty or mechanical. Words like 'Ergo' and 'In an inference' are used awkwardly or incorrectly in this context, demonstrating unnatural transitions. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and logical progression between sentences stumbles due to awkward phrasing and unnatural collocation of cohesive devices. Paragraphing is present, but internal cohesion requires better control, placing this firmly in the Band 5 to 6 range.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, but contains noticeable errors in word choice, form, and collocation that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. Examples include 'protagonist' instead of 'proponents', 'martial status' instead of 'marital status', 'task acheivement' with a spelling error, and 'cooperatives' instead of 'corporations' or 'companies'. While the writer attempts less common vocabulary like 'unethicial workplace' and 'discrimination', inaccuracies restrict the lexical score. Communication is achieved, but the frequent lexical slips prevent a higher grade.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as conditional and relative structures, but control over grammar is inconsistent. There are frequent errors in prepositions and articles, such as 'during to companies', 'seeking for job', and 'take care about'. Subject-verb agreement issues also appear, including 'A married person need work life balance so employer should treat him'. Punctuation is generally acceptable, but grammatical errors are frequent enough to cause occasional difficulty, fitting the Band 5 descriptor well.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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