Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-18
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Sometimes employers want to know personal information like leisure activities and interest for persons who want to apply for job. However, they are single or married.Many people believe that this infrometion is important for job. Althoug, some individuals argue they are disagree with it.I firmly agree with this statement.
On the one hand, there would be less chance of loss. Let me explain, when employer already know about the proper interest of that person who are applying for job. He could manage him at proper post like, he is good for data base job or management job. through which he can safe their time and can acieve their targets easily.For instance, better hiring can be safe employer time and make profit wisly. Consequently, hiring a right person for a job is a real asset of a employer.
On the other hand, Miss use of information. Actully one group of people believe giving information to employer for new could be unsafe becuase if they hire you on the job and due to some personal disliking during job. they can make upset of that emplyee like give that which he already not interest could be a solid reason of insult. For example, if someone know about your weakness they could make hardle in you life. Therefore, people make feel upset when they tell to other about weakness in form of no interest.
In conclusion, some person thought it is good for their career when they tell to other about their likes and dislikes. Althougn. other believe it is no better to inform about youself completly. But i believe it is not good for an emplyee.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both views on employers requesting personal information and clearly stating a personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is limited and at times unclear. For instance, the argument in the second paragraph touches upon placing employees in suitable roles like a 'data base job', but the reasoning is disjointed and repetitive ('through which he can safe their time and can acieve their targets easily'). The counter-argument regarding the misuse of information is also somewhat under-developed and convoluted, focusing on 'personal disliking' and 'insult'. The position is maintained throughout, but the support lacks depth and clarity, aligning it with Band 5 descriptors.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into four paragraphs with a clear introduction and conclusion, displaying some overall structure. However, progression is frequently disrupted by awkward transitions and confusing sentence structures. Cohesive devices are often inadequate, inaccurate, or repetitive, such as the frequent misuse of 'Let me explain' and abrupt phrasing like 'On the other hand, Miss use of information.' Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal logical flow within paragraphs is faulty, making it difficult for the reader to follow the train of thought. Referencing is also unclear in places, notably with pronouns like 'he' and 'they' being used ambiguously. These issues reflect Band 5 performance.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, frequently impeded by numerous spelling and word-choice errors, such as 'infrometion' instead of information, 'Althoug' for although, 'acieve', 'wisly', 'Actully', 'becuase', 'hardle', and 'completly'. The range of vocabulary is limited and minimally adequate for conveying simple meanings, but noticeable errors occur throughout the text, including awkward collocations like 'safe employer time' and 'make upset'. These lexical inadequacies cause some difficulty for the reader and prevent the text from achieving a higher band score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but attempts at complex structures are frequently faulty. There are persistent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('when employer already know', 'person who are applying'), incorrect tense usage, and frequent punctuation and capitalization errors. Sentence boundary errors, such as sentence fragments and run-on structures ('For instance, better hiring can be safe employer time and make profit wisly'), are common. These frequent errors cause difficulty for the reader and restrict the grammatical score to Band 4.5.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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