Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, every company has their own terms and conditions and every employee should follow that rules. Most of the companies while hiring an employee they ask what you studied and what is your experience but also they ask personal information about yourself such as your hobbbies, you are married or not, what you are doing in your free time. Some people think that it is essential for the company and others are disagree with this. Here, I'm discussing both these views and also I'm sharing my own opinion on it.

On the one hand, people who think that it is necessary for the company because people spend their most of the time on workplace and they share their emotions and personal things with their collegues. Furthermore, sometimes company organize events also if they have your personal information so that can be easy to organize events and peolple are enjoying that movement. For instance, organisations are celebrating their employees birthday's, so if they know your personal details they will able to arrange party which is suitable for you.

On the other hand, people who is not agree with it reasoan behind it, they don't like to share their personal details with anyone. They are not comfortable to share anything on workplace and also they don't want to mixed up their worklife and personal life.

From the my perspective, sharing your personal information with your company is a good thing because I believe that we have to treat a workplce like home resoan behind it, we are spending our most of the time with our collegue and on workplace, so they will make sure our choice depending on our likes and disslikes.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both views—that personal information is useful for employers and that it is an invasion of privacy—and provides a clear personal opinion in the conclusion. Ideas are relevant, suggesting that hobbies and marital status help in organizing company events and team building, while the opposing view correctly highlights the desire to separate professional and personal lives. However, some arguments remain somewhat limited and repetitive, lacking deeper extension or specific real-world examples beyond general celebrations like birthdays. The conclusion restates the writer's stance reasonably well. Overall, the task is addressed adequately, fitting the criteria for a Band 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction, body paragraphs addressing each side of the argument, and a conclusion. However, cohesion is frequently faulty and mechanical. The writer relies heavily on basic transition phrases like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand', but sentences within paragraphs are sometimes loosely connected. For instance, the transition 'people who is not agree with it reasoan behind it' is grammatically disjointed and hinders smooth progression. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal referencing and logical flow between sentences need greater precision to reach a higher band. Cohesive devices are occasionally inaccurate or overused, placing this response securely at a Band 5.5.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully communicating everyday ideas related to employment and workplace environments, such as 'terms and conditions', 'colleagues', and 'personal details'. However, there are numerous spelling errors throughout the text, including 'hobbbies' for hobbies, 'collegues' for colleagues, 'peolple' for people, 'birthday's' with an unnecessary apostrophe, 'resoan' for reason, 'workplce' for workplace, and 'disslikes' for dislikes. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to restrict the lexical score. The writer attempts less common vocabulary, but word-choice and spelling inaccuracies prevent it from achieving a Band 6.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, though attempts at complex sentences frequently result in grammatical errors. Examples include 'Most of the companies while hiring an employee they ask...' (faulty subject-verb structure), 'others are disagree with this' (incorrect verb form), and 'people who is not agree with it reasoan behind it, they don't like...' (relative clause error and double subject). Punctuation is also problematic, with several run-on sentences joined merely by commas where full stops or conjunctions are required. While the reader can generally follow the intended meaning, the high frequency of structural and mechanical errors places this writing at Band 5.0.

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