Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

A few individuals believe that it is logical when employers ask applicants about their personal life like hobbies and intrests. While others think that it is not appropriate. This essay while shed light on both notions in the forthcoming paragraphs and I will give my opinion in the end.

To commence with the first notion, asking for personal information like hobbies and interests enables the employer to assess person's behaviour and background which help to understand whether he or she could acclimate in the office's working environment. In other words, every workplace have it own set of rules, working ethics and other co-curricular activities. For instance, a Broadcast by BBC (British Broadcasting Company) reveals that 35% increase in productivity and efficiency has been observed after changing the hiring protocols by the employers across the country. Therefore, queries about personal intrests can benefit hiring companies to choose individuals who can boost the overall productivity of projects and ameliorate task effectiveness.

Shifting towards the other perspective, asking personal information can cause confusion for the applicant, which can have a negative impact on his confidence and overall performance. To explicate this, some individuals don't feel comfortable to discuss about their private life due to many convincing reasons. A fear of being judgemental towards their likings is one of the most common fear. For example, a recent study about human Psychology reveals that about 41% of people got nervous when asked about their favourite acitivity. Thus, asking personal questions can be overwhelminf for the applicants and can badly influence their confidence and performance.

In conclusion, although, questioning about personal life can be very helpul for the employers to hire new staff according to their requirements, I strongly believe that it can severly deteriorate the confidence and performance of applicants, unabling them to show their real potential during and interview.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both views—that personal information is useful for employers and that it is inappropriate or confusing—and presents a clear personal opinion in the introduction and conclusion. Ideas are extended and supported with examples, such as the referenced BBC broadcast and psychological studies, although some of the supporting details feel slightly generalised or manufactured. The position is maintained consistently throughout the text. The writer meets all requirements of the prompt effectively, earning a solid Band 7 for Task Achievement.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay displays a clear logical organisation and progression throughout. Each paragraph has a distinct focus, moving from an introduction to the first view, the opposing view, and a concluding summary. Cohesive devices are used reasonably well, such as 'To commence with the first notion' and 'Shifting towards the other perspective', though some transitional phrases feel slightly formulaic or mechanical. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate ideas. Overall, the text flows well, guiding the reader smoothly from one point to the next, which aligns with the Band 7 descriptors.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The writer demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision, employing terms such as 'acclimate', 'ameliorate', and 'deteriorate'. However, there are notable spelling errors ('intrests' instead of interests, 'overwhelminf' instead of overwhelming) and occasional word-choice or collocation slips like 'this essay while shed light' instead of 'will shed light' and 'fear of being judgemental towards their likings'. While less common lexical items are attempted with some awareness of style, these errors prevent the essay from reaching a higher band, placing it comfortably at Band 6.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an ability to construct multi-clause sentences such as 'While others think that it is not appropriate.' There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasing instances, including 'every workplace have it own set of rules' (subject-verb agreement), 'unabling them' (incorrect participle formation), and minor punctuation issues. Despite these errors, they rarely impede communication, and the meaning remains clear throughout. This balance of complex structures and persistent minor errors corresponds directly to a Band 6.0.

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