Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-23
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Some companies ask individuals to reveal their personal informations, such as their relationship status and hobbies during hiring process.Some people think it is important, while others disagree. I strongly agree with this trend. In this essay, I will discuss both these views with my opinopn.
To commance with, there are many reasons to give personal details. One of them is that it is useful during an emergancy. This is because some employers take their employees emergancy contacts, so if something goes wrong during work then they can contact the family member. Therefore, it is beneficial to share some private details.Furthermore, it is helpful for employers to find perfect candidate for their work. If employees hobbies and intrests are same as work, then it is more likely they will work better in that field. For example, if a person like to sing and he choose to make his career in music industry, then it is a high chances he will get a success in the field.
Some people disagree with this statement. As they do not like to share their private details. As they are not comfortable to give someone information as it is not safe. People can use that details to do some scames. Hence, they do not like to share any information. Moreover, some individuals think it is useless, as diffrent people have diffrent hobbies. Employers should judge their worker by their work rather than hobbies.
To conclude, it is not safe to give personal information to someone as there are a lot of fraudes around the world; however sharing some sort of personal information not only helpful for an emergancy but also favourable for employers.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both views—the advantages of sharing personal details, such as emergency contacts and job suitability, and the disadvantages regarding privacy and scams—while also clearly stating the writer's position ("I strongly agree with this trend"). The ideas are extended and supported with relevant examples, such as a person choosing a career in music. However, there is a tendency to over-generalise slightly and some arguments remain somewhat limited in development, such as the brief counter-argument paragraphs. Overall, the task is adequately addressed in line with Band 6 descriptors.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The essay has a coherent overall arrangement with a clear paragraph structure, including an introduction, body paragraphs addressing each viewpoint, and a conclusion. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical. For instance, transitional phrases like "To commance with" contain spelling errors, and referencing is not always clear (e.g., "that details" instead of "those details"). Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate ideas, but the logical progression between sentences can feel slightly disjointed due to repetitive sentence starters and limited cohesive devices. This places the response firmly in Band 6.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common items such as "relationship status" and "favourable". However, there are numerous noticeable spelling errors throughout the response, including "informations", "commance", "emergancy" (repeated), "intrests", "diffrent" (repeated), "scames", and "fraudes". These lexical errors and incorrect word choices do not completely impede communication, but they restrict the lexical score. The writer's attempts at using varied vocabulary are hindered by these frequent spelling inaccuracies, reflecting the characteristics of Band 5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing conditional structures and relative clauses (e.g., "If employees hobbies and intrests are same as work, then it is more likely they will work better"). However, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ("employees hobbies... are", "a person like"), missing articles ("in music industry"), and incorrect prepositions. While these errors do not completely prevent understanding, they occur regularly and impact the overall accuracy of the writing, aligning closely with the Band 5 descriptors.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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