Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

To some extent, recruiters say to individuals who applying for jobs for their private data e.g their part time favourite things to do or things they are enjoying apart from either they are committed or they are unmarried. Few candidates believe this data is according to and very helpful but on the other hand opponents don’t agree to this. Also, I believe that this information may create discrimination and imbalance in the job opportunities for the candidates. I will discuss both point and tell about that how only relevant information is only necessary.

Firstly, information about individuals free time activities and activity they are happily interested in give much more details about the person’s personality ,behaviour and overall communication skills. This background details can help in identifying that either the job candidate is suitable and can be able to perform well in particular job or field. This also help to access the capabilities and best working environment and the candidates better way of working. For instance a person applying for sport counsellor has also a great interest in sports its will be beneficial for the job.

On the other hand, opponents came to know that people’s private information that either they are in relation or are living alone should not be important for applying a job. Employers have to be focused on the the knowledge or experience of one’s person apart from their marital relation. Also asking people about their such private information may concern unfair decisions and has a devastated effect on their employment chances. Just like a person who has a little interest in job but their ability to do a task and working is extrordinary. Information about interests and hobbies not accurately tell about a persons abilities and strengths.

In my opinion, recruiters should only be asking about background information only in the matters is needed not always like considering their marital affairs. Company recruitment process should only be based on an individuals knowledge , experience and capabilities.

In conclusion I add that both points hold a strong point personal data provide information about individuals about their requirements are fulfilled for the job. The personal information should not be asked apart it is necessary only information related to job requirements should be asked.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both views (the utility of personal information vs. the potential for discrimination) and presents a clear personal position. The ideas are generally relevant, such as mentioning hobbies that align with a job like a sports counsellor. However, some ideas are under-developed or expressed rather simplistically, such as the example regarding a person with little interest in the job but extraordinary ability. Furthermore, the phrasing is sometimes repetitive, which limits the depth of task exploration. While the position is clear throughout, the support would benefit from more precise elaboration and varied examples to reach a higher band. Overall, the task is adequately addressed at a Band 6.0 level.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a recognizable introduction, body paragraphs addressing different perspectives, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate ideas. However, the progression of thought is occasionally disrupted by awkward cohesive devices and mechanical referencing, such as 'Also, I believe...' and 'On the other hand, opponents came to know that...'. Sentences within paragraphs sometimes lack smooth transitions, making the flow somewhat choppy in places. Pronoun referencing is also occasionally unclear or imprecise. These features correspond to a Band 6.0 level of coherence and cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common words and phrases such as 'discrimination', 'capabilities', and 'extraordinary'. However, there are numerous lexical inaccuracies, awkward word choices, and collocations, such as 'individuals who applying', 'part time favourite things', and 'devastated effect' (instead of devastating effect). Spelling and word-form errors are noticeable throughout the response, including 'extrordinary' and general grammatical inflexions. Because these errors do not severely impede overall communication, the vocabulary reaches a solid Band 5.5 to 6.0 level, comfortably sitting at Band 6.0 for attempting a functional range despite its limitations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some control over multi-clause structures. However, there is a high frequency of grammatical errors and awkward syntactic constructions, such as 'recruiters say to individuals who applying', 'give much more details', and 'the knowledge or experience of one’s person'. Errors with prepositions, verb forms, articles, and subject-verb agreement are common throughout the text. While these errors rarely completely obscure the writer's meaning, they occur with sufficient frequency to prevent the grammar from meeting the descriptor standard for Band 6 fully. Therefore, a Band 5.5 is awarded.

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