Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

People have diferent views about employers asking for personal details like leisure, areas of interest and their relationship status. While some people say this information is very relevant, others argue that it isn't really important. This essay will discuss both perspective before explaining why i believe that it is utimately crucial to ask for areas of interest.

Firstly, one major reasons why this is useful is because hobbies can reveal useful qualities. In other words, employers can learn about their employee's soft skills. Some qualities can be essentail provided it is with alignment to a job role. These personal datas can be useful unless there is no room for fun time within an organization. For example, a person who plays football can demonstrate good teamwork and communications skills. Secondly, personal information can help create a friendly work environment. This is beacuse shared hobbies can make communication easier and strengthen bond among co-workers. As a consequence, improve overall productivity in a company. This can be considered why requiring for specific data is appopriate.

However, personal information can reslut to discrimination and this is often unrealted to job performance. This is because details like marital status does not necessarily mean someone can perform a job well. Moreover, a person with a skill, job experience and qualification is far more relevant, although it should be prioritized. For example, a marrued applicant or a single applicant maybhave same qualifications and perform equally well. If these factors are considered above every other data provided, it will utimately bring about equality among co-workers. This demonstrate why it is important not to include private information about someones personal life.

In conclusion, although personal deyail like marital status can be good if requested, but their recreational activities is far more advantageous because it promotes good working relationships.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both views on employers asking for personal information and clearly stating a personal opinion in the introduction and conclusion. Ideas are extended and supported, such as explaining how hobbies like football can demonstrate teamwork and how marital status can be irrelevant to job performance. However, there is a slight tendency to over-generalise in certain points, and some examples could be more fully elaborated. For instance, the discussion on discrimination could be expanded to give a clearer context. Overall, the task is addressed well, matching the requirements for a Band 6.5 or solid Band 7, but due to minor under-development in places, a Band 6.0 is appropriate.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear logical progression throughout. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, separating the introduction, two body paragraphs representing different views, and the conclusion. Cohesive devices are employed to guide the reader, such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'However', and 'In conclusion'. However, referencing and cohesion are occasionally faulty or mechanical, seen in phrases like 'This can be considered why requiring for specific data is appopriate' and minor issues with sentence connectivity. Paragraph progression is generally clear, but some transitions between sentences feel slightly abrupt, justifying a Band 6.0.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The writer demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'recreational activities', 'qualifications', and 'discrimination'. However, there are noticeable spelling errors throughout the text, including 'diferent', 'utimately', 'essentail', 'reslut', 'unrealted', 'marrued', 'maybhave', and 'deyail'. Word choice and collocations are also occasionally imprecise, such as 'shared hobbies can... strengthen bond' instead of 'strengthen bonds'. These errors do not impede overall communication, placing the response securely in the Band 6 category.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating attempts at complex structures through conditional and subordinate clauses, such as 'While some people say this information is very relevant, others argue that it isn't really important' and 'If these factors are considered... it will utimately bring about equality'. There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasing instances, such as 'discuss both perspective', 'provided it is with alignment', 'These personal datas', and 'requiring for specific data'. Punctuation is generally acceptable, but grammatical slips are frequent enough to prevent a higher score, though they rarely impede communication.

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