Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

To begin with, some people have different viewpoints to do a job according to their interest or choices. However, some are not satisfied with this. In the first paragraph, I discuss the first people views and in the second paragragh, I discuss another one. I think the people who do their jobs according to their interest or hobbies live better and happy life.

Firstly, the people who do their jobs according to their interests are more passionate about their jobs and doing their jobs in a productive way. Also, they show their creativity and doing a job without any stress or pressure. Moreover, this provides mental satisfaction and gives emotional and personal support to their wellbeing. For example, if the person has an interest in music, then they start their job as a music artist or singer. Furthermore, this gives the mental peace to them. So, he or she do their jobs without any kind of burden or pressure. so in this marriage or single status does not matter because doing a job is totally depend on ours not on others. according to me, do their jobs according to thier interest or their hobbies that gives you a pure satisfaction and peace. Also, some of the employers gave a form to fill. In this form, they write everything about their hobbies or interests . So employers read the information carefully that gives a perfect position to that person so they wrok comfortablly and adujusted with the environment where they are doing their jobs. That would be very helpful and relevant.

While other think totally different especially society or their family members. Sometimes their parents or society force people to work under the conditions that is not in their interests or not perfectly fit with them. In that time they have no chance to do other jobs. So they forcefully work in that jobs. If the employer do not ask people to their interests or personal information then that time this gives a burden on them and they do not work properly in that field. Also, sometimes people feel hesitated to share their personal information like their hobbies with the employer because some have a hobby live a sedentary lifestyle . When they share with other s , they feel hesitated and gave a wrong information. So in some jobs its important to do so but in others its not. So its totally depend on their choices to give that information.

To conclude,both the view points have their own prespectives but according to me give a personal information to employers is a good way to get their desierd position.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response attempts to address both views regarding whether personal information such as hobbies and marital status should be shared with employers, and includes a personal opinion. However, the interpretation of the prompt skews significantly towards whether job satisfaction depends on hobbies rather than fully analyzing the specific nature of the requested personal information. The introduction includes an unnecessary meta-commentary ('In the first paragraph, I discuss...'). Ideas are presented, but their development is frequently repetitive and lacks focus on the core prompt. For instance, the discussion conflates career choice with disclosing personal details to an employer. Consequently, the response meets the basic requirements for addressing the task but remains somewhat limited and under-developed, aligning with a Band 5.0.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response shows an attempt at organization with distinct paragraphs, including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the logical progression is frequently disrupted. The introduction outlines an unusual structural roadmap ('In the first paragraph, I discuss the first people views and in the second paragragh, I discuss another one') which is not actually followed. Cohesive devices are overused or used inaccurately, such as repetitive transitions ('Also', 'Furthermore', 'So') that make the flow mechanical. Paragraphing is also problematic; the second body paragraph is overly long, dense, and meanders between multiple disparate ideas. Referencing is sometimes unclear, leading to a choppy reading experience that fits Band 5.0 descriptors.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is generally basic and repetitive. The student relies heavily on common everyday words and phrases such as 'job', 'interest', 'hobby', 'pressure', and 'good way'. There are noticeable attempts at less common items, but these are often used with incorrect collocation or word form, such as 'live better and happy life', 'feel hesitated', and 'desierd position'. Spelling errors also occur, such as 'paragragh', 'thier', 'wrok', and 'adujusted'. While meaning is usually conveyed despite these limitations, the frequent lexical errors and restricted range place this performance firmly at Band 5.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but control over grammar is weak. There are frequent errors in verb forms, subject-verb agreement, and prepositions throughout the text, such as 'do a job according to their interest', 'give the mental peace to them', 'so he or she do their jobs', and 'depend on ours'. Punctuation is also faulty, with missing capital letters at the beginning of sentences and erratic spacing. Complex structures frequently result in grammatical breakdown and loss of clarity. These frequent errors cause some difficulty for the reader and reflect the Band 5.0 descriptor profile.

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