Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Usually employer do not ask but sometimes they do ask personal information from person who is applying for jobs, such as hobbies and interest, and even their marital status. Many people believe that this information might be relevant, while others beleive that it is not informative.

Getting personal information from the person who is applying for job is significantly important and useful because it helps employers to know more about his future employees. If the employee is having an interest in music or theatre, then it would be arduous for him to do sitting job in which he have to do plenty of calculation. Moreover, some jobs need long working hours, and if candidate is married then he/she also have personal obligation and would not be more dedicated towards work. Therefore, this information plays a crucial role while selecting the candidate for job.

On the other hand, critics believe that getting personal information about candidate is hindering privacy. People believe that employees should be selected based on his qualification and the years of experience which is needed for job. It is biased if we select the person based on the marital status and their interests or hobbies. Not all people are same, if a married person is doing job that means he agree to work and fulfil the job requirements and obligations. Moreover, if employer ask employee about his personal information it breaches the rule of privacy.

In my opinion, it is relevant to get the personal information because of time-saving. It saves the time of both employers and employees. Thye both need to undergone a procedure while selecting the suitable candidate for jobs. Consequently, if both the parties know each other it help them in building a good relationship between employer and employees and can jointly work towards achieving the targets or goals of an organisation.

In conclusion, although not getting personal information is biased and hindering privacy, it helps in building the strong relationship with employer and focus on smooth running of the corporation.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both views—that personal information is relevant and useful, and that it is an invasion of privacy—while also clearly stating the writer's own opinion that such information is useful for time-saving and building relationships. The position is maintained throughout the essay. The ideas are generally well-developed and supported with reasons, such as how hobbies might conflict with desk jobs or how marital status could relate to dedication. However, there is a tendency to over-generalize in places, such as claiming a married candidate 'would not be more dedicated towards work.' Overall, the task is addressed effectively and meets the criteria for Band 6.5, rounded to 6.0 due to some under-developed supporting arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a clear overall arrangement with a recognizable introduction, body paragraphs addressing each side of the argument, a personal opinion paragraph, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to structure the argument. Cohesive devices are utilized, such as 'Moreover', 'On the other hand', 'Consequently', and 'In conclusion'. However, referencing and cohesion are sometimes mechanical or slightly faulty, such as 'Thye both need to undergone a procedure', and the logical progression between sentences occasionally falters, leading to some choppiness in the flow. Despite these minor issues, the progression of ideas is generally clear throughout.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items and topic-related terms such as 'marital status', 'obligation', 'qualification', and 'breaches the rule of privacy'. However, there are noticeable inaccuracies in word choice, collocation, and spelling, such as 'Usually employer' instead of 'employers', 'beleive' instead of 'believe', 'sitting job' instead of 'sedentary job' or 'desk job', 'Thye' instead of 'They', and 'need to undergone' instead of 'need to undergo'. While these errors occur, they do not impede overall communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writer demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing conditional structures and relative clauses such as 'If the employee is having an interest in music...' and '...if candidate is married then he/she also have personal obligation...'. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly regarding subject-verb agreement ('employer do not ask', 'candidate is married then he/she also have'), article usage ('for job' instead of 'for the job'), and verb forms ('need to undergone'). Although errors persist throughout, the meaning is generally clear and does not impede communication.

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