Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this contemporary era, the employers ask so many personal information for the new hirers about their personal life. Many individuals believe that this is relevant while others disagree. We will discuss the both prespective in the upcoming paragraphs.

To initiate with, there are plethora of benefits for inquiring about personal information of the job hunters. The first and foremost one is idea about their performance. To explain it, if the hobbies of the individual is something related to your company's work then he/she would perform the duties in more meaningful way as compared to others. To examplify this, if the person's hobby is reading books, then his vocabulary would be more advance and there would be less spelling errors. Moreover, if you know about his family obligations, then you would be able to know about his availability at the workplace. For example, a survey of BBC News reflects that, individuals who are married take 58 % more leaves in a year as compared to single ones.

On the other hand, some people favours that this information is irrelevant and meaningless. To explorify, we believe that for finding a perfect employee, the employer should focus on his educational knowledge and work experiance. These are the factors which should be considered while hiring a new employee instead of his personal information. Additionally, person's personal abilties are different for eveyone and employer should not judge them on these basis. For instance, a survey was conducted on 10 employees of Google and the result surprised everyone that their performance level is same irrespective of their personal life interest and obligations.

In the end, we may say that the employers should collect personal information about employees only to an extent and which is meaningful and important for business instead of his personal life as he has no right to pursued his privacy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both views on whether employers should ask for personal information and providing a clear personal position in the conclusion. The ideas are extended and supported with reasons and examples, such as the discussion on reading habits and marital status affecting workplace leave. However, some arguments tend to over-generalize and rely on unsubstantiated claims, such as the cited BBC News survey statistics. The position is maintained throughout, satisfying the requirements for a Band 6.5 to 7.0 range. Specifically, the student outlines both perspectives adequately, though the development of ideas in the third paragraph is somewhat limited and relies on the writer's personal perspective ('we believe'). Overall, the task is successfully tackled with a clear outline of arguments, earning a solid Band 6.5.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a clear overall arrangement with an introduction, two body paragraphs discussing opposing views, and a concluding paragraph. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas. Cohesive devices are employed to signal transitions, such as 'To initiate with', 'Moreover', and 'On the other hand'. However, referencing and cohesion can be somewhat mechanical or awkward at times, such as 'To explorify' in the third paragraph, which is an unnatural transitional phrase. Additionally, pronouns are sometimes used confusingly, shifting between 'you', 'he/she', and 'we' within the same context. Progression is generally logical, but the mechanical nature of some linkers pulls the score towards the lower end of the Band 6 descriptor range, though the overall structure remains clear and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common items such as 'plethora', 'obligations', and 'contemporary era'. However, there are noticeable word-choice inaccuracies and awkward coinages, such as 'explorify' instead of 'elaborate' or 'exemplify', and 'examplify'. There are also minor spelling and collocation issues like 'work experiance' and 'eveyone'. While these errors do not impede communication, they demonstrate a lack of precision that prevents the lexical score from reaching Band 7. The vocabulary is sufficient to convey the intended meaning, featuring some good attempts at topical leisure and employment terminology, firmly placing this performance at Band 6.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating attempts at conditional and relative clauses (e.g., 'if the hobbies of the individual is something related...'). However, grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are several instances of subject-verb agreement errors, such as 'the employers ask so many personal information' (information is uncountable) and 'if the hobbies... is'. Articles are also misused in phrases like 'for new hirers' or 'to pursue his privacy' (used as 'pursued'). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but the frequency of grammatical slips in basic structures places this response squarely in the Band 5.5 to 6.0 range, where errors occasionally cause slight distraction for the reader without completely obscuring meaning.

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