Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

enterprise require employee's personal information such as marital status, extracurricular interest. some individuals believe This kind of data may be very useful and essential. others disagree with above statement. I will Discuss Both view and I will provide my answer in following essay.

On the one hand, Some working professional's Information is disclosed by companies where they apply for job. Firstly, Orgainisations know's employees history which is easy for them to know during joining period this person is better for company's future growth or not. afterthen they know's employee is how capable for specific task. For Example, My friend was applying for different kind of roles in a company, Than HR suggested him a specific role by his personal information. than, Later he asked them why they hire him for different role because he applied for such specific role than HR clear all my friend's doughts by says we have all your information so we know which work is suitable for you.

On the other hand, Some individuals are not agree to disclose their personal information with any firms because they believe organisations control them emotinally and physically. If, They have their essential details and they need to sacrifice their passaions which they looking in a workplace. For Example, When I got my job they have my all information than they provide different work which i do not like or boring tasks instead of work which is good for my growth and I am feelling am stuck at one place by joining this company.

In conclusion, In my opinion i believe employee's need to keep their data private instead of sharing with comapnies Because They can learn all kind of different skills sometime companies hesiate to give new tasks or provide training.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both views—that personal information is useful for job roles and that it is an invasion of privacy—and provides a clear personal opinion in the conclusion. Ideas are relevant, such as the example of the friend whose HR department assigned a specific role based on his background, and the personal example regarding boring tasks. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. The arguments tend to wander and lack full expansion. For instance, the conclusion abruptly shifts to mentioning skill learning and training hesitation. Because all parts of the prompt are addressed with a clear position, this aligns well with the Band 6 descriptors where relevant ideas are presented, though some are under-developed or unclear.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay is divided into paragraphs, including an introduction, two body paragraphs representing opposing views, and a conclusion. There is a basic logical arrangement and the writer attempts to use standard signposting devices such as 'On the one hand', 'For Example', and 'In conclusion'. However, cohesion is frequently faulty and mechanical. Referencing is unclear in places, such as in the second body paragraph where pronouns like 'they' become confusing ('When I got my job they have my all information than they provide...'). Furthermore, punctuation errors and run-on sentences frequently disrupt the flow of reading, limiting the overall cohesion to a Band 5 level.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and repetitive, which restricts the range. The writer relies heavily on basic terms and phrases such as 'personal information', 'company', 'job', and 'work'. There are noticeable errors in word choice, form, and collocation, such as 'working professional's Information', 'Orgainisations know's employees history', and 'feelling am stuck'. Words are often misspelled or incorrectly inflected (e.g., 'emotinally', 'passaions', 'doughts'). These errors cause some difficulty for the reader and reflect a vocabulary profile characteristic of Band 5, where the range is minimally adequate but noticeable errors impede smooth reading.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical accuracy is very weak throughout the essay. There are frequent and systematic errors in tense consistency, subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'enterprise require', 'Orgainisations know's'), capitalization, and punctuation. Many sentences are run-on fragments joined incorrectly by commas or conjunctions, such as 'For Example, My friend was applying for different kind of roles in a company, Than HR suggested him...' The punctuation is particularly poor, with lowercase letters starting sentences and misplaced commas. These persistent errors frequently cause strain and difficulty for the reader, fitting the Band 5 descriptors.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.