Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In many conditions employers ask their job applying candidates for their likes or dislikes and if they have any family responsabilities. Many believe that it is beneficial and applicable to collect such information and others disagree. I personally believe that collecting personal information is good enough untill or unless it may not used in unethical way and transparent to candidates as well. This essay will discuss both views and my opinion in subsequent paragraphs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The student attempts to address the prompt by mentioning both views and briefly stating a personal opinion. However, the response falls severely short of the minimum word count requirement, containing only 74 words compared to the mandated 250 words. Because of this critical limitation, the ideas are extremely underdeveloped and the task cannot be fully satisfied. The writer touches upon the relevance of hobbies and family responsibilities, but lacks the necessary elaboration, extension, and supporting examples required to achieve a higher band. Consequently, this leads to a low band score for task achievement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The text demonstrates a basic structural layout, including an introductory sentence that attempts to outline the essay structure ("This essay will discuss both views and my opinion in subsequent paragraphs"). However, due to the extreme brevity of the text, there are no body paragraphs to evaluate regarding logical progression or paragraphing. Cohesive devices are minimal, relying on simple connectors like "and" and "Many believe... and others disagree." While the sentences follow a basic chronological sequence, the lack of an actual multi-paragraph essay structure prevents the demonstration of flexible cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is relatively basic and repetitive. Phrases such as "job applying candidates", "likes or dislikes", and "good enough untill or unless" show a limited range and awkward collocation. There are also spelling and word-choice errors, such as "conditions" instead of "circumstances" or "cases", "responsabilities" instead of "responsibilities", and "untill or unless" which is redundant and unidiomatic. While the language is mostly understandable, the lexical resource is restricted and barely adequate for the demands of the task.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The student attempts some complex structures, such as the concessive clause in "untill or unless it may not used in unethical way", but this attempt contains significant grammatical errors including missing auxiliary verbs ("may not be used") and incorrect preposition use ("in unethical way" instead of "in an unethical way"). There is also a spelling error in "responsabilities". The mix of simple and emerging complex sentences shows some control, but frequent inaccuracies in grammar and mechanics prevent the text from reaching a higher band level.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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