Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Many people favours that personal information asked from an applicant may be relevant and useful for an employer, whereas others oppose this. This essay will discuss both these views before presenting my own opinion.

Those who believe that personal insight on someone's life is beneficial for organisation because this can tell about an individual's personality. Getting to know about hobbies, interest and their marrital status may provide a clear picture if the person will be able to adjust in the workplace enviornment. For example, while recruiting a customer service representative the employer will be happy to know if the person is sociable, can communicate effectively or not and so on unlike the one who likes to remain silent or does not talk much.

On the contrary, people opposing the above mentioned statement think that the employees must be solely judged on their education and skills to satisfy the need of employment. Personal information often lead to baised decision making because employers will prefer to choose single people on top of married ones or who does have children. For instance, people who are married often face challenges in shifting their working hours because of personal commitments which fades away their work life.

In conclusion, although seeking a little personal information can help employer in making better choices among candidates appearing for job, sometimes this description can be used to make baised decision. From my perspective, the employees should be selcted only on the basis of their professional profile like the education, work experience and other useful skills for the job.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both views on whether personal information is relevant during job applications and presenting a clear personal position in the conclusion. Ideas are relevant, such as discussing how hobbies reveal personality versus how personal details can lead to biased decision-making. However, the development of ideas tends to be slightly limited and repetitive in places. For instance, the argument about bias is introduced well with an example about single versus married applicants, but the elaboration remains somewhat basic. This performance aligns well with a Band 6.0 descriptor, as all parts of the prompt are addressed and a position is presented, but some ideas could be extended further for a higher score.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs exploring opposing views, and a concluding paragraph. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas. Cohesive devices are employed to guide the reader, such as 'Many people favours', 'On the contrary', and 'In conclusion'. However, referencing and transitions are at times slightly mechanical or prone to minor errors (e.g., 'unlike the one who likes to remain silent'). Logical progression is maintained throughout, enabling the reader to follow the writer's arguments without difficulty. This satisfies the core requirements for a Band 6.0.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully incorporating terms such as 'professional profile', 'bias decision making', and 'commitments'. However, there are notable lexical errors and spelling mistakes throughout the text, such as 'favours' instead of 'favors' or 'favour', 'marrital', 'enviornment', 'lead' instead of 'leads', and repeated misspellings of 'baised'. These errors do not impede communication since the overall meaning remains clear, but they prevent the response from achieving a Band 7.0. The vocabulary range is sufficient to discuss the topic, placing it comfortably at Band 6.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing relative clauses and subordinate structures like 'Those who believe that personal insight...' and 'For example, while recruiting a customer service representative...'. There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings present, including 'Many people favours that', 'getting to know about hobbies, interest', and 'the employees should be selcted'. Despite these grammatical inaccuracies and spelling slips, communication is rarely impeded, and the basic meaning of the sentences remains accessible. This balance of mixed structures and frequent minor errors reflects the Band 6.0 descriptors.

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