Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In an organization there are numerous informations which has been taken from employees. Some times its become more personal about employees presonal interest and habits. some individuals believes thats its right to take information about their personal life but some do not agree. In my prespective organization shouls have all type of informations.

To commance with, organizations wants to have full information about their empolyees. when employees join a firm they have a form and interview and asked some personal information. These informations creat a beneficial bonds between employeer and employees. For instance, In Royal tag company, they have know about the personal belongings of a employee. Because of their personal interest comapny arrange birthday party for them, give them holidays in which weather they want to go for trip.

On the other hand, some firms do not ask about the personal belongings of a employee. Sometimes its seems good because some employees do not want to share their personal life. The organization just wants to know about their degree and experience and other documents which necessary for job. For example Bata Show campany only demands your experience. They do not have interset in your personal life. Their prespective that personal life and professional life have their own space. In work place their are no need about personal belongings.

In conclusion, both views have their own importance. Having information about presonal life has good effect on relation between employees and firm.On the other hand some believe professional life and personal life must be seperate. In my prespective firm should have information about their personal belongings it creats beneficial atmosphere in company.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both views—that personal information is useful for building relationships versus the view that professional and personal lives should remain separate—and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas remains limited and under-developed. For example, the point about Royal Tag company providing birthday parties and trip holidays is stated simply without fully exploring how this directly relates to job performance or employer needs. Similarly, the counterargument regarding Bata Shoe Company is brief and lacks sufficient depth. The position is stated at the beginning and the end, but the supporting arguments tend to repeat the same basic concepts rather than extending them thoroughly, which keeps the response at this level.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is a clear attempt to organise the response into paragraphs with an introduction, two body paragraphs representing opposing views, and a conclusion. However, the overall progression lacks smooth links between ideas, resulting in a somewhat mechanical structure. Cohesive devices are used, but they are sometimes repetitive or inaccurate, such as 'To commance with' and repetitive transitional phrases like 'On the other hand'. Referencing is occasionally unclear, as seen in phrases like 'These informations creat a beneficial bonds', where pronoun and demonstrative referencing fails to connect sentences fluidly. Paragraphing is present and separates the distinct arguments, but the internal cohesion within paragraphs requires better logical transitions to guide the reader effortlessly through the discussion.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is limited and repetitive, featuring basic terms throughout the essay. There are frequent lexical errors relating to word choice, word form, and spelling that occasionally strain the reader, such as using 'informations' (an uncountable noun treated as plural), 'presonal' and 'prespective' (misspellings), 'empolyees', and 'campany'. The student attempts less common phrases like 'professional life and personal life must be seperate' and 'beneficial atmosphere', but inaccuracies in collocation and spelling prevent clear precision. To move to a higher level, the writer needs to expand their vocabulary range, eliminate basic spelling errors, and demonstrate better control over word forms and appropriate collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The writing relies on a limited range of sentence structures, mostly featuring simple sentences alongside faulty attempts at complex forms. There are frequent grammatical errors in verb forms, subject-verb agreement, and articles throughout the text. Examples include 'there are numerous informations which has been taken', 'Some times its become', 'some individuals believes', and 'their are no need'. Punctuation is also inconsistently handled, with missing apostrophes ('employeers') and run-on phrasing. Because these errors occur frequently and occasionally cause difficulty or hesitation for the reader in parsing the intended meaning, the grammar remains characteristic of this tier. A greater variety of accurate complex structures and closer attention to basic agreement rules are needed for improvement.

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