Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Usually, during applying for any occuption, we often fillout the information regarding marital status, flexibility and many more. However, Many individuals reckon that is should be probihited. In this essay, I will discuss both views and my opinion along with the relevant examples in forthcoming paragraphs.

To commence with, the most prominent reason is reveal soft skills and personality traits. To explain it, by knowing personal information, employer can easy find employee's flexibility and interest or experience in any particular area which is very useful for them and get job according their information which they provide during apply for a vacancy. For example, a survey conducted by the work authorization department and they found that more than 70% job seekers were getting their desired job because of background knowledge. Therefore, people can share their data to the company.

On the other hand, sometimes we upload our facts online, then the information misuse by scamers for wrong purposes. They do harass to the candidates by uncontionally way which is extremely harmful for them. For Instance, a Tribune newspaper published a headline regarding suicide which was conducted by the person who were suffering from scamer as he was demanding a huge amount of money. But that person could not arrange amount. So, we should avoid to share the personal knowledge.

In conclusion, in my opinion, although, sharing information very beneficial for residents to get comfortable position, people should be aware about harmful incidents. It can be extemely dangerous physcially and mentally both.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both views on personal information in job applications and offering an opinion, but the ideas remain limited and under-developed. For instance, the first body paragraph attempts to explain how revealing soft skills is useful, but the reasoning is repetitive and supported by a vague and unconvincing example about a survey. Similarly, the counterargument regarding scams touches upon a valid point, but the example of a newspaper headline lacks clear connection to the prompt's focus on job application data. Your position is stated in the introduction and conclusion, but the overall lack of fully extended and supported ideas places this response at this level.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear paragraph structure, starting with an introduction, followed by two body paragraphs, and a brief conclusion. You make use of standard cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' to signal the structure of your arguments. However, referencing and cohesion are sometimes faulty or mechanical. For example, the transition between sentences within the body paragraphs feels abrupt, and the pronoun referencing in phrases like 'the information misuse by scamers' lacks smooth integration, causing occasional disruptions in the logical flow of ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

Your vocabulary range is limited but minimally adequate to convey your basic message. You attempt some topic-specific terms like 'marital status', 'soft skills', and 'personality traits', but there are noticeable errors in word choice, word form, and spelling that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. For instance, 'occuption' is misspelled, 'fillout' is written incorrectly as a single word, and phrases like 'probihited', 'scamers', and 'uncontionally way' show frequent spelling and lexical inaccuracies. To achieve a higher score, you need to use a wider range of vocabulary more accurately and pay closer attention to spelling and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You demonstrate a limited range of structures, relying mostly on simple sentences alongside a few attempts at complex forms that are often faulty. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including issues with prepositions, verb forms, and articles. For example, 'during applying for any occuption' should use a gerund phrase without 'during', 'that is should be probihited' contains a modal verb error, and 'employer can easy find' lacks an adverb form. Furthermore, phrases like 'avoid to share' and 'physcially and mentally both' exhibit persistent structural inaccuracies that cause some difficulty for the reader.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.