Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Many business owners and employers ask for some personal information from the new candidates who are applying for jobs such as their hobbies, interests and their marital status. Some people think that these data may be important and useful while other disagree with this development.

On the one hand, some workers do not prefer to share their private details with their managers or seniors. Such people are little introvert. As a result, they like to create a distance between their work and personal life. Also, some people think that there is no neccessary of asking these kinds of questions because this facts are not beneficial for the job. In addition, they feel that employers are breaching their privacy. On the other hand, many workers understand the idea behind this. They are very aware of it's advantages.

These information can be much helpful in future. This can help employee to organize future events. Furthermore, upper authorities can celebrate their workers special days. For example, my owner know about my hobbies and personal likes. On my birthday, he gifted me brand new video game console. That gift was so precious to me as I love to play games. Therefore, in my opinion, there is nothing wrong to provide some personal information to your employers because they are going to miss use those data. This development can help to create a friendly environment between eachothers.

In conclusion, many people get offended whenever their employers ask for a personal informations because they are very private in their life and they do not like to share everything. While some people undestand the idea behind this activity as there are multiple benefits for employees. I also strongly agree with it.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both views on employers asking for personal information and provides a personal opinion. However, the treatment of the task remains limited and under-developed. While you mention why some people object to sharing private details, such as wanting to keep work and personal life separate, this idea is not fully extended. Similarly, the opposing view is supported with only a single personal example about a video game console, rather than exploring broader workplace benefits. Your position is stated towards the end, but the reasoning throughout lacks depth. To reach a higher level, you should ensure that both sides of the argument are explored in greater detail with fully supported explanations rather than relying on brief statements and a singular anecdote.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

Your essay displays some basic organization with clear paragraph breaks separating the introduction, the two body viewpoints, and the conclusion. However, there is no clear overall progression of ideas, and the logical flow between sentences is occasionally hindered by faulty referencing. For instance, the transition into the second body paragraph uses phrases like 'These information' and 'This can help employee', which create disjointed links between ideas. Cohesive devices are sometimes inaccurate or repetitive, such as the frequent reliance on 'Some people' and 'On the other hand'. To improve coherence, you need to ensure smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs, use accurate pronoun referencing, and vary your cohesive devices to build a more natural logical progression throughout the text.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

Your vocabulary range is limited but minimally adequate for expressing basic ideas. You attempt some less common words, but this results in noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, and word form that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. For example, expressions like 'new candidates' instead of 'job applicants', 'there is no neccessary of asking', and the malapropism 'miss use those data' instead of 'misuse that data' highlight these lexical limitations. Additionally, there are spelling errors such as 'neccessary', 'introvert' used where an adjective form like 'introverted' is needed, and 'eachothers'. To achieve a higher band, you need to expand your vocabulary range, pay closer attention to word collocation, and ensure correct word forms and accurate spelling.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

Your writing demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, relying mostly on simple sentences alongside a few attempted complex structures that are often faulty. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including pluralization and agreement issues such as 'These information' and 'everybody ask for a personal informations', as well as missing articles ('know about my hobbies', 'help employee'). Other errors involve prepositions and tense control, such as 'while other disagree' instead of 'others disagree'. While these errors rarely completely obscure your overall meaning, they are frequent enough to cause reading difficulty. To progress, you should focus on increasing your control over complex sentence patterns, ensuring subject-verb agreement, and reducing basic grammatical slips.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.