Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

On contemporary workpalce, sometimes employers ask applicant for their personal information ,for instance their habbits and interest along with their marital status . This topic become a issue of debate among some people who are in the favour they think this information could be relevant and beneficial, while critics disagreed with this notion, In my opinion, its all about job requirements that need to be fullfilled before hiring a individual.

On agreed side, the people who think that it would be beneficial to fruitfull if employer is asking for persnal information in term of choosing right candidate. Because through hobbies and personal interest employer can easily judge the employee's determination regarding job environment. So this easy for the employer hiring a person for particular job position.

Conversley, Many many people argue that it is people's choise etither they give their private information or not. It is a issue of privacy. Most of the persons do not to disclose their private information for getting job .They might be prefer to get job through their academic or their perivous work experience .

In my opinion, there should be transparent method of hiring a applicant . Peson should have right to disclose their personal information if they feel comfortable. Otherwise they should not impose strict rules regarding asking people for their marital status and their interest.

In conclusion , this topic become a matter of discussion both parties are right at place.So it will better for both employer and the employee to keep their personal infromation things sperate from workplace environment.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the main parts of the task by discussing both views on whether personal information should be requested by employers and providing a personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is limited and at times under-developed. For example, while the writer mentions that hobbies can help judge determination, this point is not fully extended with strong supporting examples. The position is stated, but the arguments remain somewhat superficial and repetitive across the body paragraphs. To reach a higher level, the ideas need to be more fully elaborated with clearer reasoning and more robust examples to support both perspectives and the writer's stance.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt at logical organisation, including an introduction, body paragraphs addressing each viewpoint, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used to separate different ideas, such as the arguments in favour and against, as well as the writer's opinion. However, cohesion at times feels mechanical or faulty, with awkward transitions like 'On agreed side' and 'Conversley'. Referencing and logical progression between sentences can be disjointed, such as moving abruptly between ideas in the third paragraph. To improve further, the writer should employ a wider range of cohesive devices more naturally and ensure smoother logical links between sentences and paragraphs.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited but minimally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to convey basic ideas about employment and personal privacy. There are noticeable errors in word choice, spelling, and word form throughout the text, such as 'workpalce' for workplace, 'applicant' for applicants, 'habbits' for habits, 'fruitfull' instead of fruitful, 'etither' for either, and 'infromation'. Less common vocabulary is attempted, but inaccuracies in collocation and spelling cause some difficulty for the reader. To achieve a higher score, the writer must expand their lexical range, demonstrate better control over word formation and spelling, and use more precise vocabulary suitable for an academic or professional context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer uses a limited range of sentence structures, with frequent attempts at complex sentences that often contain errors. There are noticeable issues with subject-verb agreement, articles, punctuation, and prepositions inside grammatical patterns, such as 'This topic become a issue', 'employers ask applicant', 'in the favour they think', and 'hiring a individual'. Grammatical errors are frequent and occasionally cause difficulty for the reader in parsing the exact meaning. To progress, the writer needs to incorporate a wider variety of complex structures with greater accuracy, ensuring that basic grammatical rules regarding articles, plurals, and verb forms are applied consistently throughout the text.

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