Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-02
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
To begin with, the company sometimes asks individuals applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies or interests, and whether they are married or single. Some of them say this information might be relevant and useful. In my opinion, It's very significant to take the record of personal information. For instance, You need to anquire about your staff is your legal right. Moreover, your employer should not involve any illegal activities which affects on you and others repatution. Furthermore, employers get to now the next person's likes and dislikes. Sometimes, personal information gives you benefits, such as if you are married and have children. It is highly chances to get more salary and different types insurances company will provide you as package. In addition, many companies organise monthly refreshing programs that you can choose according to your personal interest. Some people disagree with this statement because they believe that this information is irrelevant and useless. For instance, why need this personal information, and what is the purpose of asking these types of questions? For instance, there is a vacancy for a doctor; how can some one asking doctors personal information even if he or she is applying for a doctor position? The hospital should need to acknowledge their personal information.
In conclusion, It's very significant to take the record of personal information. Employers will take legal action on behalf of their company's reputation and successful destination. If you disagree with the company's terms and policies better not to apply if you cannot provide the full information.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt only partially, discussing both views and offering a personal opinion, but the ideas remain limited and under-developed. For instance, the argument about married employees receiving more salary or insurance benefits is stated abruptly without sufficient explanation or clear examples. Similarly, the counterargument concerning a doctor's vacancy is confused and lacks logical expansion. Your position is presented, but it tends to be repetitive rather than progressively supported with fully reasoned arguments. To move to a higher level, you need to extend your main ideas with detailed explanations and relevant examples that clearly illustrate each point.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
There is some organisation evident in the structure, such as introducing the topic and attempting a conclusion, but there is no clear overall progression of ideas throughout the essay. Paragraphing is underutilised, as the main body is condensed into a single massive block of text, which makes the progression harder to follow. Cohesive devices are used mechanically or inadequately, relying heavily on repetitive transition markers like 'For instance' and 'Moreover' rather than creating smooth, logical links between sentences. To improve, you should separate your ideas into distinct paragraphs for each view and your own opinion, ensuring a clearer logical flow from one point to the next.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is limited and minimally adequate for the task. You attempt some less common vocabulary, but noticeable errors in word choice and word formation cause some difficulty for the reader, such as writing 'anquire' instead of 'inquire', 'repatution' for 'reputation', and 'now' instead of 'know'. Additionally, phrases like 'take the record of personal information' and 'different types insurances company will provide you' sound unnatural and lack proper collocation. To achieve a higher score, you should broaden your range of vocabulary, use precise phrasing for professional contexts, and carefully check your spelling and word forms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The text demonstrates a very limited range of structures, relying mostly on simple sentences, while attempts at more complex structures are often faulty. There are frequent grammatical errors that can cause difficulty for the reader, including missing prepositions, incorrect verb forms, and articles, such as 'You need to anquire about your staff is your legal right' and 'how can some one asking doctors personal information'. Punctuation and sentence boundaries also show frequent issues, such as comma splices and abrupt phrasing. To reach the next level, you need to produce a greater variety of complex sentence forms with better control over grammar, tense consistency, and punctuation.
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