Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Most of the time, employers often ask people about their personal information, such as their activities or whether they are single or married. Some people believe this is useful, while others do not agree. In this essay, I will discuss both views before presenting my own opinion.

On the one hand, asking personal details is mandatory these days, because sometimes it plays an important role on an organization. For example, if any candidate is appearing for an interview in healthcare professionals and he/she is diagnosed with Hepatitis C. Therefore, it is very important to inform the examiner or interview conducting bodies, because there are special protocols for these kind of conditions. As, every community has to make sure no one gets infected from that individual.

On the other hand, many people may think that interviews should only ask questions related to their profession and should not ask students personal details. For instance, any medical or accountant background candidates are often highly reserved to their professions. In addition, they prepare themselves according to their exam. As a result, they sometimes get offended when the examiner asks irrelevant questions while that information does not seem to be necessary for jobs.

In my opinion, it is highly significant to ask detailed information regarding personal background because some types of jobs prohibits certain individuals from the spread of diseases or conditions. Consequently, to keep environment and community safe, it is a highly imperative step.

In conclusion, while some people often do not provide significant information. However, it is essential to inform organization to prevent any hindrances in the future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the task partially, as required for this level. While you discuss both views and present a clear position, your ideas remain limited and under-developed. For example, your main argument regarding health protocols and Hepatitis C is introduced quickly without sufficient elaboration on why standard hiring processes cannot manage this. Similarly, the counterargument concerning privacy feels slightly disjointed when you mention medical or accountant background candidates getting offended. To move higher, you need to extend your ideas with more thorough explanations and relevant examples rather than generalising.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response shows some logical organisation, and the overall progression is generally clear with the use of standard signposting phrases such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion'. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or faulty. For instance, the transition in the second paragraph using 'As, every community...' is awkward and disrupts the flow. Additionally, referencing is occasionally unclear, and some sentences do not link smoothly to the preceding ones, such as the abrupt shift in the final paragraph starting with 'However, it is essential'. Paragraphing is used appropriately, but more fluid cohesive devices are needed for a higher score.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

Your vocabulary range is adequate for the task, allowing you to communicate your main points. You attempt some less common vocabulary, such as 'mandatory', 'protocols', and 'imperative', but this is coupled with noticeable inaccuracies in word choice, collocation, and word formation. For example, writing 'role on an organization' instead of 'role in', using 'healthcare professionals' when referring to a candidate, and phrasing 'prohibits certain individuals from the spread' demonstrate strain in collocation. There are also slight word choice issues like 'examiner' instead of 'employer' or 'interviewer'. Improving precision and natural phrasing will help elevate this criterion.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

Your writing displays a limited range of structures, relying mostly on simple sentences alongside some attempts at complex forms that are often faulty. There are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that can occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. For instance, sentence fragments and awkward dependent clauses appear frequently, such as 'For example, if any candidate is appearing for an interview in healthcare professionals and he/she is diagnosed with Hepatitis C. Therefore, it is very important...' where punctuation and sentence boundaries are misused. Furthermore, prepositional usage within patterns needs attention, such as 'important role on' instead of 'in', and there are minor subject-verb agreement slips.

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