Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-02
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.0)
In modern time, many people think that employer can ask anything when they are applying for jobs for personal information, like hobbies their interests or if they are married or single. I agree with this statement which will explicate in the upcoming paragraph.
From my prospective, employer can get in personal information when someone came for the job . The first and foremost reason is if he /she have any crime record they can give the information to police . Secondly, they can
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 3.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0
The response fails to meet the minimum length requirement of 250 words, stopping abruptly at only 83 words. Consequently, the task is addressed only partially, as the discussion of both views and the candidate's own opinion cannot be fully developed within such a short space. The introduction outlines an agreement with the prompt, and a brief attempt is made in the second paragraph to introduce reasons regarding personal information, such as checking for a crime record. However, the ideas remain heavily under-developed and incomplete, with the text trailing off mid-sentence. To improve, the candidate must ensure all parts of the prompt are thoroughly explored and that the essay is expanded to meet the required word count with fully supported arguments and examples.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5
The text shows some initial organization through the use of standard framing devices like 'In modern time' and 'From my prospective', attempting to establish an introduction and a body paragraph. However, because the text cuts off abruptly in the second paragraph, there is no clear overall progression or conclusion. Paragraphing is attempted, but the extreme brevity prevents any effective logical sequencing or extended use of cohesive devices. References such as 'this statement' and 'he /she' are used, but referencing clarity is hindered by the lack of completed ideas. To achieve a higher band, the writer needs to structure a full essay with distinct paragraphs that logically build upon one another, utilizing a wider range of cohesive devices to connect ideas smoothly.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is limited and minimally adequate for attempting the topic, featuring basic phrases like 'personal information', 'hobbies their interests', and 'jobs'. There are noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'In modern time' instead of 'In modern times', 'employer can get in personal information' instead of 'access personal information', and 'crime record' instead of 'criminal record'. While these vocabulary attempts do not completely impede basic communication in the very short text, they show a lack of precision and flexibility. To improve, the writer should build a broader range of vocabulary and learn standard collocations associated with professional and workplace contexts, ensuring accurate word forms and spelling.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The writing demonstrates a very limited range of sentence structures, relying on basic patterns with frequent errors. There are issues with subject-verb agreement and article use, such as 'employer can ask' where 'employers' is needed, and 'when someone came for the job' instead of 'comes'. Punctuation and spacing errors are also present, as seen in the awkward spacing around slashes ('he /she'). Because the response is cut short, it is difficult to demonstrate a mix of complex structures, and the existing sentences contain errors that interrupt the flow. To progress, the student needs to develop a wider variety of grammatical structures, pay closer attention to verb tenses, singular/plural agreement, and basic punctuation to ensure greater accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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