Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In today's day and age most of the companies ask potential employees about their personal detail some of them being about maritual status and interests. This helps the organization to get an idea about the person's determination and skillset and how it contributes to the workplace. I agree that such information can be useful to identify one's qualities.

An organization thrives on employees who possess various strengths which may include personality traits. To cite an example, companies with creative employees have a stronger growth than employees with no hobbies or interests. Marital status might indicate the loyalty of an employee towards a job. A married employee is likely to stay loyal to the company for longer period of time as they feel a sense of security and financial stability. People with interest in sports or fitness, may be able to perform tasks more efficiently than others due to their dedication.

This might not be true is some cases as hobbies and work have a different frequency, some might not indulge in hobbies or interest actively. Every individual has a different approach of performing a task. Numerous employees do not engage in any activities at the workplace to maintain a professional outlook.

In conclusion, personal interests play a significant role in getting a clue about the employees behaviour. It also helps build a professional relationship with the employer. Each individual's traits contribute towards building a healthy working environment. A person might have adequate knowledge but not be the right fit for the role because of their interests.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the task in general terms, discussing both views on whether personal information is relevant to employers and offering a personal opinion. However, the ideas remain somewhat limited and under-developed. For instance, the claim that marital status indicates loyalty is stated rather than thoroughly explained or supported with robust examples. Similarly, the counter-argument regarding hobbies and work having a 'different frequency' is unclear and lacks sufficient elaboration. To move to a higher band, the writer needs to extend and support all main ideas with more fully developed explanations and concrete examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is a general attempt at organisation, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which provides a coherent overall arrangement. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by abrupt transitions between paragraphs, such as moving from workplace traits directly into a counter-argument without a clear transitional link. Additionally, cohesive devices are occasionally repetitive or mechanically used, and referencing is not always clear, particularly with pronouns like 'this' or 'they'. To improve coherence and cohesion, the writer should ensure a smoother logical progression throughout and employ a wider, more flexible range of cohesive devices.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The writer demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully using terms such as 'organization', 'determination', 'skillset', and 'professional outlook'. However, there are noticeable lexical errors and awkward word choices, such as 'personal detail' instead of 'details', 'maritual status' instead of 'marital status', and the phrase 'hobbies and work have a different frequency'. These errors reflect an attempt to use less common vocabulary with some inaccuracy. To achieve a higher score, the writer must improve precision in word choice and collocation while eliminating spelling and word-form slips.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response uses a limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on simple sentences alongside some attempts at complex forms that are occasionally faulty. There are frequent grammatical errors in punctuation, articles, and prepositions, such as missing commas in introductory clauses, incorrect pluralisation ('personality traits... stronger growth than employees'), and awkward phrasing like 'different approach of performing' instead of 'approach to performing'. While the meaning remains mostly clear, these recurring errors constrain the grammatical range. To progress, the writer should incorporate a greater variety of error-free complex structures.

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