Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-03
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
In recent years, the topic of most compelling employers asking personal information from the candidate during hiring.while other people think that may be this information relevant or useful. I strongly believe that getting a information from candidate during interview it help in the future.on this topic i will eleborate this and i will give my opinion
On the one hand,Although giving information to some one about your personal details could be risky.When you are as a candidate applying a job ensure that whatever information you are giving it will help you in future.moreover getting these information means employers is willing to know about your hobbies interest. employers will organsied some activity according to your hobbies
A clear example of this famous cricketer Mahendra dhoni when he applied his first job he mention that he loves play cricket.whcih is assocition help him for the future
On the other hand, some people are afraid to give their personal information reason could be they are introvert person
these kind of people wan to keep their personal details private.
In conclu
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response addresses the task only minimally, and unfortunately, the length requirement is not met, as the essay contains 177 words, which is well below the 250-word minimum. The writer attempts to discuss both views regarding personal information in job applications and touches upon personal opinion, but the ideas remain very limited and under-developed. For instance, the mention of Mahendra Dhoni is unclear and lacks proper explanation to support the argument. To move to a higher band, the writer must fully develop all parts of the prompt with extended explanations and meet the required word count.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
Information and ideas are not arranged in a coherent manner throughout the response. Although there are attempts at paragraphing, the text cuts off abruptly in the middle of a sentence ('In conclu'), showing a lack of overall progression and incomplete structure. Cohesive devices are minimal or inaccurate, leading to a disjointed flow where the relationship between ideas is often difficult to follow. To improve, the writer needs to ensure logical sequencing of ideas, use a wider range of appropriate cohesive ties, and complete all paragraphs properly.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, which strains the reader's understanding at times. There are noticeable errors in word choice, word form, and collocation, such as 'getting a information', 'applying a job', and 'introvert person' instead of 'introverted people'. The range is limited and minimally adequate, relying heavily on simple terms. To achieve a higher score, the writer must expand their lexical range by incorporating less common vocabulary and ensuring accurate word forms and spelling.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response shows a very limited range of structures, and errors are frequent throughout the text, often distorting meaning. There are persistent issues with sentence boundaries, missing verbs, and incorrect prepositions, such as in 'employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs...' combined with fragmented sentence structures like 'these kind of people wan to keep their personal details private.' Complex sentence attempts are rare and frequently faulty. To progress, the writer needs to demonstrate control over a mix of simple and complex sentence forms while reducing basic grammatical errors.
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